Mama's Gonna Buy You a Mockingbird

A beautiful birth story

2012-02-10T10:26:00.000-07:00

I came across this incredible story, linked on Facebook, of a twin mama who birthed her babies naturally at home, where they were born 33 hours apart. There were no complications, and it is a beautiful story.

I know that this is an unusual story, and that there is the potential for a lot of complications and so on, but this story blew me away. I am so blessed to have had my natural experience with my daughter, and it strikes me to the core every time I read another med-free birth story. There is something so primal and so spiritual about the experience, tapping into the ancestry of women through the ages who gave birth without medication (obviously anything more than 150 years ago would be in that category) where Nature takes over.

Beautiful.

(Note to self: you don't want to be pregnant again. Really. Even if you want to give birth again, you don't want to be pregnant again!)

February 9, 2012

2012-02-09T19:35:00.003-07:00

There's a tunnel under my work. There's a duckling in the tunnel. Quack?

February 7, 2012

2012-02-07T21:46:00.000-07:00

Happy 30th birthday to my wonderful husband!

Also, I captured our dippy mutt when she ran away! Yay me! So here's a picture of the moon that I took (with my phone) while I was wandering around outside trying to find her.

February 6, 2012

2012-02-06T21:17:00.000-07:00

For your viewing pleasure:
J rocking out to the birthday card my mom sent C.

(Yeah, not a picture, but enjoy anyway!)

February 5, 2012

2012-02-05T21:01:00.000-07:00

C and L waiting to go home after the Superbowl. Taken on my phone. Apparently I got my finger, too.

February 4, 2012

2012-02-04T20:42:00.001-07:00

Let's build a snowman! Unfortunately, after our fun time outside, J said he wasn't feeling so good, and spent the rest of the day curled up on the couch with some blankets. I'm afraid he may have caught his sister's virus.

February 3, 2012

2012-02-03T21:48:00.000-07:00

Puppies looking outside longingly. I took a snow day today (this morning we had about a foot of snow...it's still snowing now, I think we've got about 18 or so inches.

February 1, 2012

2012-02-01T21:33:00.000-07:00

So... happy February!

L thought it would be fun to scare Mommy half to death by developing this awful rash, a low fever, and rapid breathing, so she earned herself a trip to the doctor this morning. She's got a virus (who knows which one) and has spent the day alternating fussing, napping, and occasionally being happy for a few minutes. There was a good amount of pitiful moaning, too.

January 30, 2012

2012-01-30T22:08:00.000-07:00

J stole my birthday card from my mom. It says "Holy Cow!" Hee hee.

January 29, 2012

2012-01-29T21:53:00.000-07:00

Happy birthday to me! (Also, my dear friend got married today, so I had an excuse to get all gussied up!)

Excuse the mess, we haven't had a chance to clean up after the party last night.

January 28, 2012

2012-01-28T11:22:00.000-07:00

L is wearing a dress that used to be mine :-). My birthday party was a 1980s theme, so this dress was perfect!

January 27, 2012: 9 months!

2012-01-27T10:27:00.000-07:00

Height: 28.75" 90th Percentile
Weight: 16lb 0.5oz 10th Percentile
Head Circumference: 43.25cm 25th Percentile

Happy 9 months to my little girl! You wear 9-12 month clothes (though sometimes you fit in 12-18 month things...) and size 3 shoes. You say 3 words: Mama, Dada, and Bwabwa (brother) and you absolutely adore your brother. You love toys, especially those that J gives you to play with (and those that he ends up taking away). You have just started scooting around on your butt to get places, though you're pretty slow at it. Right now you have 4 teeth (two on top and two on bottom) and you love everybody once you get to know them a little bit. You really like to turn pages in books, and you love to look at books before you chew on them.

January 26, 2012

2012-01-26T10:34:00.000-07:00

Another one from a couple days ago when she was playing with J's tools. I love the contrast and textures here! Plus, look at those teeth!

January 25, 2012

2012-01-25T10:30:00.000-07:00

My hungry little girl, modeling her new amber teething necklace. No word yet on if it actually works, since she finished cutting her 4th tooth the day we got it. Hrm. It's cute, though!

January 24, 2012

2012-01-24T10:20:00.000-07:00

Silly girl, playing with J's tools. She's a really big fan of that wrench.

January 23, 2012

2012-01-23T22:10:00.000-07:00

All ready to go shopping tonight! (She's leaning against the couch, not standing unsupported.)

January 22, 2012

2012-01-22T15:03:00.000-07:00

Yes, my son does still wear his sweatshirt from his Halloween costume. What of it?

January 21, 2012

2012-01-21T15:01:00.000-07:00

J buried L in toys, and she was really happy about it.

January 20, 2012

2012-01-20T22:06:00.000-07:00

She didn't want to be anywhere but on me, and dangit, I needed to vacuum. So here she is!

And for funsies, here's a picture of J in the Moby at 4 months old. :-)

January 19, 2012

2012-01-19T15:12:00.000-07:00

Alright...I did it.

2012-01-19T13:49:00.000-07:00

I rejoined SparkPeople. My membership hadn't gone anywhere, I just hadn't been using it. Turns out that I am *not* 4 pounds below my pre-pregnancy weight. I evidently gained a couple pounds over the holidays, and am back at 140. I guess something must have been stuck under my scale or something the other day.

So I am back to tracking my meals, snacks, etc on SparkPeople. I don't really like Babyfit (their pregnancy/breastfeeding fitness site), so I just added 400 calories to my daily intake goal (so it's now 1650-1950, rather than 1250-1550 calories per day). I am hoping that just keeping myself accountable will help me lose this weight without impacting my milk supply (which *thankfully* has been great, and I've even built up a small freezer stash again! Okay, really small, it's like 20 ounces, but still! Progress!) and help me make better choices. I know that this system requires me to be honest with myself, and I can do that. I've done it before. So far (in 2 1/2 days) I've lost about 3 ounces. Yeah...140.4 pounds to 140.2. I guess I'm getting there, right? And that works out to about a pound a week, which is good.

Here's the breakdown so far:

Starting weight (4/27/2011): 161 (at 39w6d pregnant)

6/27/11: Return to work, weight 142

8/17ish: Weight 140! Reward: new nail polish

9/6/11: Weight 138. Woot!

10/19/11: Still 138. Wohoo!

1/19/12: 140. D'oh.

Goals:
135 pounds (BMI 24.7): NEW SHOES!
130 pounds (BMI 23.8): Jewelery! (Like a new necklace and earrings)
125 pounds (BMI 22.9): Haircut! Maybe go all short and sassy again. Also, mani and pedi :-)
Ultimate goal: 120 (BMI 21.9, where I was when C and I got married)! Reward: $100 in new clothes (consignment or new, doesn't matter)

January 18, 2012

2012-01-18T15:00:00.000-07:00

This was unplanned, but I enjoy the fact that they are both doing the same thing!

January 17, 2012

2012-01-17T14:58:00.000-07:00

A boy in motion (and me playing with camera settings)

January 16, 2012

2012-01-16T10:20:00.000-07:00

Happy Beerika!

The Miracle of Beerika
At Christmas of 2007, C and most of the men in the family joined together to buy a bottle of Sam Adam's Utopia. Each got about 1 ounce. Once everyone got his due, the bottle was empty. The next day, C, in sad hopefulness, tipped the empty bottle over a glass. A small amount of liquid dribbled out. This miracle occurred again over the next several days, and thus began Beerika. We celebrate every January with friends, a feast, and fancy beer paired with every course. This year was the 4th celebration. I have no pictures of the festivities, but here's a picture of C's wall-o-beer (back in the day when this was pretty much it...there are about 5 times as many now)!

January 15, 2012

2012-01-15T10:07:00.000-07:00

I made these robot cookies for J's daycare birthday party. They were a hit!

January 14, 2012

2012-01-14T10:05:00.000-07:00

My SIL gave J this straw for his birthday. He's in love.

January 13, 2012

2012-01-13T22:14:00.000-07:00

I couldn't find my Broncos shirt to wear today, so I painted my nails instead. GO BRONCOS!

January 12, 2012

2012-01-12T21:48:00.000-07:00

An egg that J got for his birthday. I took this picture (and some others, as I was experimenting with lighting and camera settings) because he was in bed and missed the beginning of the egg hatching. Inside was one of those grow-dinosaurs, which happened to be a mutant triceratops with only 2 horns. On the right is another growing dinosaur that ~~hatched~~ erupted out of a volcano.

January 11, 2012

2012-01-11T21:21:00.000-07:00

This is what happens when your son decides to color by his sister, then leaves a marker uncapped. Thank god they're washable (the markers and kids).

January 10, 2012 - What a Difference a Year Makes!

2012-01-10T22:50:00.000-07:00

One year ago, I posted this picture. I was 24 weeks pregnant, in pain, and apparently had dreamed recently that C was a Jesus T-Rex. I noted in that post that I had gained 8 pounds so far in my pregnancy.

I just want to brag that as of today, I am 4 pounds below my pre-pregnancy weight. Woot! 1 pound away from my shoes reward!

Why can't we all just get along?

2012-01-10T09:57:00.002-07:00

“Great job raising a kid who will probably not become a mass murderer.” - Jill at babyrabies.com

Ah, mommy wars. I have witnessed them in the blogosphere, on Twitter, on the Nest and the Bump. Very recently, I've even seen them on Facebook. I can understand the mob mentality, and getting so angry about something that you HAVE to jump in. I've done it myself (though not terribly recently) on forums where things are relatively anonymous. But on Facebook? Are we so judgmental as a species that we must call names and insult and berate fellow mothers and fellow humans when we can see their real names, and nobody is hiding? I try not to say anything to anyone on Facebook (and as time goes on, the internet in general) that I would not say to their face. Perhaps I'm being naive, but honestly, it's a little saddening and shocking to see grown women calling names and telling each other that their parenting choices suck donkey balls and that their kids are going to be ruined for life because their parents made them cry it out (CIO) or fed them formula or breastfed them til they were 2 or 3, or coslept with them. As Jill Kraus at Baby Rabies so aptly put it, odds are good that no matter what you do, your kid won't turn out to be a mass murderer. So come on, internet citizens. Deep breaths. Realize that there are living, breathing people on the receiving end of your comments, and don't be an asshole. Nobody is perfect, including you, so lets all behave.

January 9, 2012

2012-01-09T22:40:00.000-07:00

She is getting so big! She was chowing down on some rice krispies and kicking her long legs!

January 8, 2012

2012-01-08T22:30:00.000-07:00

A birthday gift for J from my mother-in-law, as J helped me with some cooking. (My apron was a bridal shower gift from her!)

January 7, 2012 - Happy birthday J!

2012-01-07T22:03:00.000-07:00

My beautiful, blue eyed boy. I can't believe he's four already!

January 6, 2012

2012-01-06T21:54:00.000-07:00

One last snuggle for the Christmas dinosaur before he goes downstairs with the other decorations.

Happy Birthday to my sister! (January 5, 2012)

2012-01-05T21:17:00.000-07:00

Vintage sister and J (at 4 months! He was so teeny...)

January 4, 2012

2012-01-04T23:24:00.000-07:00

This was right after they licked each other. L thought it was hilarious.

January 3, 2012

2012-01-03T23:14:00.000-07:00

I think I need to accept that this is not going to fix itself. My mother suggested duct tape. This has been done, and is greatly improved (picture to be added below later, when I get it off the camera).

January 2, 2012

2012-01-02T21:58:00.000-07:00

One last hurrah before bedtime for baby. J's bed is a fun spot to hang out!

I know the wallpaper is ripped. I haven't had it in me to replace that panel again (yes again, he first ripped it when he had a cast. That time was an accident and I had to replace 3 panels of the wallpaper) and J has been really good about not messing with it after the initial ripping when I said it made me really sad that he did it because I worked hard to make his room nice. Emotional ~~blackmail~~ education starts early, folks.

366 Days, 366 Pictures

2012-01-02T21:15:00.000-07:00

I am going to try to post one picture each day this year. Since it's leap year, that means 366 pictures! Yay! Maybe it will also help my photography skills...That would be nice. Though there may be a limit to how much they can improve with my point-and-shoot camera (not fancy at all). Since I didn't post one yesterday, here's the first of two you'll get today.

I made this for my sister-in-law for Christmas. I even made the button, because I've got mad skills, yo. And BIL works at Left Hand.

8 months old!

2011-12-28T21:39:00.001-07:00

Look who finally figured out how to smile in pictures!

Length: 29"-ish; greater than the 95th percentile-ish
Weight: 16 pounds-ish; 15-20th percentile-ish

Yeah...she got a new car seat for Christmas, since the infant seat we have has a max height of 29 inches.

My Sick-Day Project: Snap Conversions on Cloth Diapers

2011-12-07T15:12:00.001-07:00

As you know, we cloth diaper. We are using the same diapers (with some additions) for L as we did with J, and some of them have aplix that is, at this point, beyond useless. Last week I picked up snaps and a snap press from Joann Fabrics (which now has a cloth diaper section, SQUEE!!). While I'm home sick from work, I might as well take care of those diapers! I'm using Fred's tutorial, found here. She is a clever one!

Wordy Wednesday: Thankful

2011-11-30T09:18:00.001-07:00

I've slacked off on actually doing this every day this month, so here you go. All in one fell swoop, a bunch of things I'm thankful for, but not one for every day in November.

I am thankful for my mom. Without her, I don't know how we'd be getting by financially every month. She has done so much for us, and for me, and I am very grateful.

I am thankful for my grandmother. She paid for my college education, she gave me my first car, and we bought our house from her. L's middle name is Margaret, in her honor, and I am sorry that my grandma won't ever know her namesake.

I am thankful for my husband. We've grown up together over the last 12 1/2 years, and we've been through a lot, and I am so glad he's part of my life.

I am thankful for my son. He is the light of my life, and makes me smile every day. I never expected him to have dimples, and I love all the other surprises he brings with him. He was so hard to bring into the world, and my pregnancy was hard, and I am thankful for having experienced it in order to have him in my life.

I am thankful for my daughter. I had long ago accepted the fact that I'd likely have 2 sons biologically, and I had almost given up on the idea that I could have a daughter when C's family seemed to make only boys. I am still giddy at times that I have a little girl, to play Barbies with (someday) and to dress up and to share the mother-daughter bond with, as I share it with my mother. I am so thankful for her, and I love her more than I can put into words. Her serious moods are so precious, and I look forward to watching her grow.

I am thankful for my puppies. Even though they drive me crazy sometimes.

I am thankful for ~~coffee~~ caffeine. Seriously, I don't get through days well without it. Maybe I'm addicted....

I am thankful for breastfeeding, and by extension, my boobs. I am so glad I've been able to have a successful breastfeeding relationship with both children, and I hope that L and I will continue that relationship for at least another year.

I am thankful for my family. They are crazy and dysfunctional, and I don't necessarily like all of them all the time, but I am grateful that they are in my life.

This picture is probably 12 years old. It doesn't even include half of my family. Wow.

I am thankful for books. I guess this also applies to reading in general. We are a reading family, and I love it.

I am thankful for movies! I don't watch as many movies as I read books, but I do enjoy them. :-)

I am thankful for my girl friends. I don't have a best friend, really (other than C), but my girl friends remind me what life is really all about, and I love when we get together for book club or just interact online or whatever.

I am thankful for my lifelong friends. We may not talk regularly, and maybe we only keep in touch on Facebook, but that doesn't mean we love each other any less.

I am thankful for my family of choice. We have some friends that are family, even though no blood is shared. Life would not be the same without them, and they are a wonderful part of our lives.

I am thankful for chocolate.

I am thankful for Fall.

I am thankful for the Broncos, even when they lose, and even though there's some weird Tebow love fest going on.

I am thankful for my in-laws. They are wonderful people, and I feel so lucky that they are not (very) insane. Especially my mother-in-law, who is one of the most wonderful and sweet people I know.

I am also, of course, thankful to have this blog. I appreciate my few readers, of course, and it's really important for me to have this outlet.

So, what are you thankful for?

7 months!

2011-11-27T21:56:00.000-07:00

If this look doesn't say "put away the camera and read me the damn book already" then I don't know what does. You know, other than actually saying it.

Length: 28" (approximately); 95th percentile
Weight: 15 pounds (according to our bathroom scale); 15th percentile

Happy Thanksgiving!

2011-11-24T21:04:00.001-07:00

I hope your Thanksgiving was wonderful and filled with love and laughter!

I am so thankful for my beautiful, wonderful family, even if my daughter has no sense of humor.

Almost.

Six Months

2011-10-27T09:58:00.000-06:00

Happy half birthday to my baby girl, my daughter, my serious and contemplative child. I can't believe it's been six months already! You've more than doubled your birth weight (though not by much!) and you are so strong and tall. You adore your big brother endlessly. You eat about 28-32 ounces of milk a day, lovingly supplied by yours truly. You wear 6-9 month sized clothes, though some of those are too short for you. You shoe size, if you were to wear them, is 2.

Length: 27" (90th Percentile)
Weight: 13lb 10oz (12th Percentile)
Head circumference: 38th Percentile

In which I go off on a long rant.

2011-10-20T21:55:00.000-06:00

This post, in case you can't already tell, is going to be long and ranty, because, well, I am not amused. Before we begin, however, I'd like to share this photo.

I found it on Facebook, posted by a friend of mine, whom I know went to college. She captioned this picture as "Finally! Some truth in advertising." Y'all know my stance on vaccines and the whole "anti-vaccine" thing. I have to say that what we have here is some CVS employees that thought they were being clever, but really, were executing (haha) a massively poor setup in advertising their flu shots. Flu shots don't kill people. Having death holding the signs, while amusing, is not exactly the way to get people to get flu shots.

Now, onto my rant. My older brother is insane. He is disgustingly religious (I have no problem with people who have faith and a strong relationship with their chosen deity; just don't shove it down the throat of every person you meet) and for a smart guy, he's pretty fucking stupid and closed minded sometimes. He, for instance, wrote a whole book about how Prince Charles is the antichrist. Yup, that was my older half brother. I share DNA with him. *sigh* I actually have him and his family assigned to a group on Facebook entitled "Crazies" because then I can choose not to have them see things that I post, just so I don't have to deal with his bullshit sermon about my lifestyle. I have a number of other rants I could go on about this particular brother (including the time he told my younger sister and I, ages 4 and 5, respectively, that our parents were going to die and go to the fiery pits of hell because they were non-believers. That made for some fun nightmares), but today, I'll stick to this. Today, this brother commented on this article, and then chose to post his comment on Facebook. The article is about a teacher who was recently fired for making anti-gay statements on her personal Facebook page, attributing her stance to her Christian faith. All I am going to say about that is "don't be stupid, lady" but what's done is done, and if she didn't have the foresight to make her profile private, then that's her problem. I have no problem with her having been a teacher, etc, because presumably she kept her religious views out of the classroom just like the teachers I had growing up.

Anyway, my family member's response to the article (and presumably another commenter) was this:

The sodo-fascist and lesbian LGBT community must go. They will destroy this country from within, just like a cancer. Given that the governments in this country have by and large chosen to both sanction and defend such contrary-to-God-given-nature behavior as is displayed and promoted by sodo-fascists and lesbians, the only solution then is judgment from God Himself. And, of course, that is now coming, both from God and this country's enemies. It will be the natural consequence toward a country that has more than turned its back upon the only God of the Univierse, the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob. (Mr. Goldstein will be ashamed of his own thoughts, mouth, and conduct in days to come, and he too will face God's wrath, unless he repents and receives Jesus (Yeshua) as his Messiah and Savior.

I cannot even describe how infuriated I was at reading this. I can't say that I am too surprised, but the level of vitriol is just...wow. I have to ask, though, what the hell is a sodo-fascist? The only Google hit I got was this post, so I assume he made up the term, and that he is saying that sodomites are fascist? How does that even make sense? (C pointed out that fascist has come to mean "anything we hate" rather than actually referring to the political preference.) To imply that the LGBT community is a cancer, what the fuck. "THE GAY" doesn't spread like cancer. DISEASE spreads like disease. Cancer is killing my cousin and you have the balls to say that someone who is born with a different sexual orientation is like cancer? YOU BIGOT. I can't help but notice that he is condoning and promoting hate by saying that they "must go." Also, this paragraph that he wrote? That's pretty much the kind of crap that pours from his mouth at every.family.gathering. Thank goodness I only have to see him once a year.

Homosexuality doesn't come up often at our family gatherings, so I have never actually been faced with the level of his bigotry before. For someone who claims to be a "Christian" I can't say that these hateful words are at all Christian in spirit. He's reminding the internet that God will judge, but he's doing some damn fine judging himself. I almost don't want to allow my children around him. I just feel filthy and contaminated even being related to someone who can spew forth such poisonous words.

*deep breath*

Okay. Glad I got that out. Fuck, man.

Things I don't want to think about

2011-10-19T15:33:00.002-06:00

1. My cousin Gail is in the hospital. She's been living with inflammatory breast cancer for a few years, but it looks like she's losing her battle. I don't want to think about it.
2. Money. Don't even want to think about it.
3. My baby not sleeping through the night, or even close. I am trying so hard not to ~~hate~~ resent all those people whose babies sleep and only wake up once or even twice a night. SO HARD.

Hey, I think I forgot my meds this morning. Whee.

24 Hours in My Life

2011-10-19T09:19:00.000-06:00

I have been thinking about this a lot lately, and wondering how I don't have time to do everything that I want to (including exercise, as mentioned previously). So I thought it might help to write down everything I do in a (typical) work day...

6:30am - Alarm goes off. Snooze alarm, nurse and snuggle baby (this may take until 7:30, depending on how hungry she is and how sleepy I am)

7:15 - shower, get ready, change baby and get both kids dressed, gather everything for the workday (breastpump, book, purse, water bottle, lunch, etc)

8:00 - leave for work (generally end up leaving between 8:15 and 8:30)

9:00 - 5:00 (ish) work - sometimes this is longer or shorter

6:00 - arrive home; if it's my turn to cook, then I cook, but in general we eat between 6 and 7

7-7:30 - Bedtime for baby! If it's a bath night, then bath time for J

8:00-8:30 - Bedtime for J

9:00 - Time to take the dogs out, pump, then work on writing or knitting/other projects or cleaning

10:00 - L wakes up, back asleep again by 10:15...(may nurse, may just want her paci)

10:30 or 11 - Get ready for bed

11:30 - L wakes up again. Say "screw it" and bring her to bed where I fall asleep while she nurses. She wakes to eat some more around 2 something and 5 something. I don't really wake up all the way to roll over and switch the side she's nursing on, but I do wake up some. Although if it's a night like last night, she will end up coming to bed with me at 12:30, and waking up every hour and a half to two hours because she wants to sprawl out and/or eat but doesn't want to be in her own bed.

6:30am: start all over again. This morning L thought it would be fun to play peek-a-boo with Daddy while we were all snuggling. It was pretty damn cute.

On a related note, J started yesterday with a song he made up entitled "Zombie up!" That seems to be the zombie equivalent of "cowboy up" and it works pretty well. With L's sleep schedule (ha!) I sure as hell feel like a zombie.

Weight Loss Update

2011-10-19T09:09:00.002-06:00

Nothing new going on here, really. No gain, no loss. *sigh* Still 3 pounds away from shoes. Still nursing kiddo on demand, and going to start running one of these days. Which, at this rate, will be when L starts college.

Here's the breakdown so far (by weeks postpartum)

Starting weight: 161 (at 39w6d pregnant)

9 weeks (6/27/11): Return to work, weight 142

16 weeks (8/17ish): Weight 140! Reward: new nail polish

19 weeks (9/6/11): Weight 138. Woot!

25 weeks (10/19/11): Still 138.

Goals:
135 pounds (BMI 24.7): NEW SHOES!
130 pounds (BMI 23.8): Jewelery! (Like a new necklace and earrings)
125 pounds (BMI 22.9): Haircut! Maybe go all short and sassy again.
Ultimate goal: 120 (BMI 21.9, where I was when C and I got married)! Reward: $100 in new clothes (consignment or new, doesn't matter)

2011-10-18T16:01:00.002-06:00

Note to self:
Make these.

http://floralshowers.com/sewing/ruffle-pillow-tutorial/

Fall Cookies!

2011-10-16T21:56:00.002-06:00

I made these cookies this weekend, partly because I wanted to (ok, mostly because I wanted to, since I got some awesome new fall cookie cutters at Target in the cheapo bins. $2.50 for 6 cookie cutters? Yes please!) and partly because we had a family birthday party today, and I knew that everyone would like some cookies.

I am very proud of these. I am especially loving the owls, they were so much fun to make!. Also, they are SUPER yummy and super chocolatey.

The recipe for the cookies can be found at LilaLoa's blog, it's the End-All for Chocolate Cookies.The dough is almost satiny, it's probably my favorite cookie dough that I've ever used to make cutouts.

Food for Thought

2011-10-13T13:20:00.000-06:00

Are you female? Go here. Read this. And stop being so darn hard on yourself! (And it doesn't matter if you are a size 6 or 16, the message is more or less the same.)

I was thinking (after having read the post linked above) about my slight frustration with weightloss this time around. I know, I've done well and have lost the baby weight, but I'm still hovering right at 2 pounds below pre-pregnancy weight. I have been clinging to a myth (I guess it's a myth) that I couldn't go running because my supply would tank. Well, that doesn't mean I can't walk, right? Except I haven't been. I haven't got a great excuse, other than that I like sleep, and getting up before 6:30 is not something I enjoy, especially when a certain baby still wakes up a few times a night (even cosleeping, though at least then I don't have to get up to feed her), and that by the time I get home it's 6:00 most nights, then we eat, put kids to bed, and I have time to craft or write or clean, and there we go, it's 11:00 and past my bedtime. Anyway. I should just put on my damn sports bra and RUN. I know the dog(s) would enjoy it, and probably be less of a pill at home. After googling, I found this article about the basics of breastfeeding, specifically nutrition, exercise, and allergy stuff. INTERESTING, let me tell you. Turns out I can exercise while nursing, just go after feeding the kid and watch carefully for clogged ducts.

So...maybe I can do this. I think I'm just feeling a little overwhelmed with all the stuff I'm trying to do lately- making L a blanket for Christmas (or her birthday), making kids' Halloween costumes (or accessories), making birthday gifts, working on stuff for Etsy, working full time, making pretty sugar (or chocolate) cookies for work and for family parties, in addition to having to get the house ready for Fall (HA! not so much... the dining room is semi-decorated, at least) and do some cleaning and taking care of the dogs and the kids. Oy. I'm tired after just writing that. And did I mention that L *still* isn't sleeping through the night? Maybe we were just spoiled with J, who at this point would sleep in his crib the whole night, waking up maybe once to eat. I've actually brought L back into bed with us because frankly I prefer the extra few minutes of sleep to having her sleep in her crib and me get up every 2-3 hours all night.

Differences

2011-10-05T15:11:00.000-06:00

J at 5 months:

L at 5 months:

Quite a difference in how well they sit up!! Also, WOW. He was sooo chubby compared to her! I can't believe he is so big now...*sniff*

5 months!

2011-09-27T22:33:00.001-06:00

Check out those feet. Yowza. No wonder she stands up so well.

Weight: 13 pounds (according to our bathroom scale) = 17thish Percentile
Length: 26.5" = 95th Percentile

That may be why she's outgrowing her 3-6 month stuff already. Jeeze.

Optimism

2011-09-23T16:41:00.000-06:00

I didn't forget my meds this morning. I have book club tonight. I am going to be spending tomorrow cleaning my parents' house for some money. On Sunday I am making some stuff for our Etsy shop and hanging out with my family, and maybe having some people over. L still slept like crap last night (thanks to sinus congestion + teething).

Nothing major has changed, but I feel so much better today. Thank science for Zoloft, mood stabilizer extraordinaire.

Medela FAIL.

2011-09-22T16:41:00.000-06:00

I happily (well, okay, as happily as possible, given what it is) used (and use) a Medela Pump In Style Advanced pump so I could provide breastmilk for my son and now for my daughter. I am using the same pump that I bought nearly 4 years ago, and man, it's really obviously been USED. The pump itself still works great (so yay for that) but the bag? Not in good shape at all. So I called customer service to ask if there was any way to just replace the bag. Nope. The woman was very nice and offered me 20% off a new pump, but hello, if I had the money to buy a new pump I would not have called about a new bag. I am not about to waste a perfectly good pump (and another $200) just to replace a bag! It's just...wasteful. I mean, it's bad enough that we can't recycle these somehow (given the whole contamination risk thing) so many pumps get used for a few months and then what? Trash? Sent to a family member? What? So I guess I will be making a new bag. Because this is getting embarrassing.

Ooops.

2011-09-22T15:10:00.000-06:00

I'm pretty sure I forgot my meds today. That or I'm in a "down" cycle and just having a rough day. My brain is all "YOU FORGOT SOMETHING IMPORTANT! FEEL GUILTY!" and the rest of me is all "Meh, lets take a nap and not work."

Fucksocks.

Also, is fucksocks not a great word? Thank you, Christopher Moore.

Popping the Ikea Cherry

2011-09-13T22:01:00.000-06:00

Ikea was absolutely everything I dreamed it would be (C does not approve, but my feeling is that it's better than Target or Walmart). J ate all his meatballs (kids eat free on Tuesdays, which is why we went today) and got a compliment from the table next to us about how well behaved he was at the table and how nicely he was eating his lunch. To me, it's just every day, but this guy actually said he wished his granddaughter was as good! I love hearing that my kid is awesome, and it's so nice to get kudos from total strangers.

Things got scary when J wandered off. They have lots of little model rooms/apartment type setups, and James went in a bedroom which I didn't realize had another door. He went out that other door, and just kept going, and by the time I realized what had happened he was nowhere to be found. I have never been so terrified as I was when I could not find my child. Fortunately the Ikea people are well-equipped to deal with such things, and also with tearful moms (yep, I cried in front of a bunch of total strangers). It turns out he'd made his way about 1/8 of the entire floor and was hanging out with some women he'd attracted. He'd just followed one lady, saying "Mom? Mom! Mom?" and she asked him if he was lost. He said he was, and told her his name. Thank goodness he knows his name and can even pronounce it reasonably well (our last name is a 4 syllable Polish name, and when he says it, it comes out something like Wakowski). I got to him as fast as I could and I hugged him so tight he got embarrassed, and I cried in front of some more people. I am actually tearing up now just remembering. Motherhood is hard, man.

We did buy a couple of things, including a tiny plush snake (for J) and a tiny plush moose (for L), and a plastic bag holder for all the bags we have for picking up after the dogs. Suddenly our front closet is way less messy!

In all, a very memorable trip.

10 Years

2011-09-11T12:31:00.001-06:00

I awoke early to get ready for my first day of college at the University of Denver. My roommate was still asleep. The air felt strange and heavy but I thought it was just in my head and tried to ignore it while I showered. I turned on the radio when I got back to my room, to listen as I got dressed. I remember taking my vitamins. The DJ was somber and he was talking about a plane crash. He was talking alongside a broadcast from New York. Screams of utter shock erupted as the second plane struck. I woke up my roommate, shaking her gently, telling her I think you should hear this.

Classes were not cancelled.

Welcome to adulthood.

Musings

2011-09-09T14:52:00.001-06:00

I can feel it here, under my skin. Writhing. Panic, trying to build, making my body an ill fit. It is trying to break through, but hasn't yet. I fight it. I feel isolated and uncomfortable, like something is just WRONG but I can't pin it down. I should channel it into a story, I guess. It isn't quite a tickle, it's just a feeling, crawling along the nerves of my spine like a repressed shudder between my shoulder blades. Phantom wings trapped beneath my skin. It's the same sensation that maggots or larvae give me, but less urgent. I can resist the panicky shudders. Gooseflesh under the muscles of my back. Melancholy. Deep sadness that comes from OUT THERE somewhere. I feel like I've done something wrong, guilt courses through me, but I've done nothing.

Postpartum Weight Loss

2011-09-08T15:50:00.000-06:00

Ah, yes. The battle with the baby weight: The Sequel.

When I got pregnant with J, I weighed 135 pounds. This put me at a BMI of 24.7. I gained 18 pounds during that pregnancy, and had gotten down to around 120 at some point post pregnancy, but then gained back a shload of weight to be at 140 (BMI 25.6) in spite of my weightloss efforts, when L took up residence in my ute. While I only gained 21 pounds with her, I was at about 150 after she was born. I knew it would be more of a struggle to lose weight this time, because I weighed more to begin with (although yes, I know, 5 pounds gained between pregnancies isn't bad).

I am exclusively breastfeeding, and feeding on demand (and pumping while at work, as well as in the evenings to keep up with L), so I don't want to start a serious exercise regimen and cause my supply to tank. I've been doing well losing weight slowly just by keeping my diet in check.

Here's the breakdown so far on my weight loss (by weeks postpartum)

Starting weight: 161 (at 39w6d pregnant)

9 weeks (6/27/11): Return to work, weight 142

16 weeks (8/17ish): Weight 140! Reward: new nail polish

19 weeks (9/6/11): Weight 138. Woot!

Future goals:
135 pounds (BMI 24.7): NEW SHOES!
130 pounds (BMI 23.8): Something bigger than shoes?
125 pounds (BMI 22.9): Something bigger than bigger than shoes?
Ultimate goal: 120 (BMI 21.9, where I was when C and I got married)! Reward: $100 in new clothes (consignment or new, doesn't matter)

If I can keep my weight between 120 and 125 for 1 year, I will reward myself with a tattoo that I've been wanting to get for a while. I plan to get a Mobius strip that's got 3 sides, (one for each child and one for C) with "L'chaim" written in Hebrew below it. No, I'm not Jewish, but I think that it sounds better than "to life" and it's a positive affirmation to associate with my family and my body.

Seventh Generation Diapers Winner!

2011-09-01T09:58:00.002-06:00

Congratulations, commenter number 15! Kim, you have won the diapers! Check your email (the one registered with blogger). You have 48 hours to get back to me or I will redraw a winner.

Thank you to everyone who entered, I really appreciate all your responses. I am working on a post incorporating your "green" ideas to share.

4 months old!

2011-08-27T13:38:00.002-06:00

Length: 25" (75th percentile)
Weight: 11 pounds, 8 ounces (10th percentile)
Head circumference: 40cm (25th percentile)

The pediatrician said she's very strong, and growing well. She seems to be over her reflux, so YAY! She LOVES her brother, and also loves eating her dresses. She has rolled over front to back and back to front (but not very often) and she laughs pretty frequently. L is a little under the weather today because of the shots she got yesterday, but she's feeling better than she was last night.

I do wish her dress was a bigger size, because it would be perfect for the holidays (with a pair of tights, because otherwise she'd get cold)...but it's 3-6 months size and won't still fit her at Christmas. So she gets to wear it for this picture. :-) Also, J picked out her hair bow. He said she needed one.

Seventh Generation Diaper Giveaway!

2011-08-24T21:11:00.002-06:00

I've been kicking this post around in my head for a while, trying to figure out how to go about it. We do primarily use cloth diapers (and did with J too), but on occasion, disposables come into the mix. With J, we ended up using disposables a lot more once he was over 2, because our cloth diapers were not keeping up with how much pee that kid produced at naptime and overnight. Anyway, we experimented with a variety of brands, and in the end our favorites actually happened to be Seventh Generation. So when the folks at MyBlogSpark teamed up with Seventh Generation and contacted me about trying the newly relaunched Free & Clear Seventh Generation diapers, I jumped at the chance. They have reduced the amount of plastic used in packaging, and the packaging is recyclable where plastic bag recycling is available (check your local grocery store). The new diapers also have a lighter-weight core, and the entire manufacturing process is chlorine free so that no chlorine is released into the environment (click here for more information).

Seventh Generation does make newborn sized diapers, but they aren't very widely available in my area (and were not available for this giveaway).The size 2 are for 12-18 pounds, but we tried them anyway. I was amazed that they actually fit my little skinny girl (who even now at almost 4 months isn't 12 pounds). Their diapers are chlorine-free, and not scented (like some other brands) and they absorb incredibly well. I still loved them, and they even contained messy breastfed baby poop explosions better than the other disposable diapers we had on hand (we'd gotten some as gifts). The diapers are a beige color, and reasonably soft on the outside (quite soft on the inside). I remembered them being softer on the outside, but they still work fantastically well, so it isn't really a big deal if they aren't as soft as the old version. Plus, L looked cute in them :-).

These diapers tend to be a little expensive compared to other brands, but there are frequently coupons available either from http://www.seventhgeneration.com/ or in your local Sunday paper.

Seventh Generation and MyBlogSpark not only gave me the opportunity to try the cereal and get a prize pack, but one of you will win one too!

One lucky reader will win one pack of Seventh Generation Diapers, in size 2, 3, or 4.

Here's how to enter:

Mandatory entry: Respond in a comment here telling me one way you and your family are environmentally responsible; this could be using earth friendly cleaning products, recycling, or anything else you do. You must include your email address!

Additional entries (please leave your email address in each additional entry so I can contact you if you win):
1. Follow my blog and leave a comment telling me that you've done so, or that you already follow my blog.
2. Blog about this giveaway, and leave a comment linking to your blog post.
3. Visit and "like" Seventh Generation on Facebook, and leave a comment telling me you did so.
4. Tweet about this giveaway, making sure to include @simplytena in your tweet. Please leave a comment telling me you've done so that includes your Twitter name so I can verify each entry.
5. Follow Seventh Generation on Twitter, and leave a comment telling me you did so.

Good luck!

This giveaway is open to residents of the United States only. The giveaway will close at 11:59pm MST on Wednesday, August 31st, 2011. Winner will be drawn by random.org.

Disclosure:
I was provided with a pack of size 2 diapers and information from Seventh Generation through MyBlogSpark. All opinions expressed in this post are mine.

Wordless Wednesday: 3 months old!

2011-07-27T23:03:00.001-06:00

Rebirth

2011-07-23T14:46:00.000-06:00

Five days ago, my dad died. For somewhere between 30 seconds, and 3 minutes, he laid there on the ground in South Africa with no pulse and no breath. He heard singing, like a chorus, felt pressure on his chest, and slowly came back.

He tells the story casually, almost, saying he died and was reborn after falling off a truck. People around him were panicking, preparing to do CPR, but hadn't yet begun when he came back. For my part, I don't know what to think, or how to feel. I am hearbreakingly grateful that he is alive and here, and I know his body will heal (he popped most of his ribs out when he landed, so is in a lot of pain, but he is ALIVE). At the same time, I am devastated by thinking that my daddy was DEAD, and part of me grieves for his mortality. Every day of my life he's been here, on this earth. Mostly not where I am, but still available. Reachable. I have nightmares sometimes where he's died. I know he's almost 70 and will not live forever, but I am not ready to say goodbye. I am so thankful that he's here, and alive. I have more time with him. Who knows how long, but thank god it's not up yet. I am so glad he hasn't been called Home, that they sent him back. The scientific part of my brain tells me that when he fell, his nervous system received a shock that stopped his heart and lungs for a moment, but the rest of me is so grateful for the miracle that things restarted again.

There are so few people on this earth that know even slightly what this is like...what am I supposed to feel?

Book Review: "The Seven Daughters of Eve" by Bryan Sykes

2011-07-11T13:55:00.001-06:00

The Seven Daughters of Eve: The Science That Reveals Our Genetic Ancestry by Bryan Sykes

My rating: 5 of 5 stars

This book was incredible. Exploring the mitochondrial heritage of humanity, Sykes delves into the mysteries of the seven women from whom Europeans are descended (as it turns out, globally there are more like 33 women) and the primary focus of the book. The lineages revealed by mitochondrial inheritance are sobering, and an interesting contrast to the patriarchal nature of most of human history. I really enjoyed the short pieces depicting the lives of the seven clan mothers: Xenia, Tara, Jasmine, Ursula, Katrine, Helena and Velda. I am definitely curious about which of them is my own progenitor. I feel more connected to the women in my personal history now, even those I've never known, and it comforts me to know that my daughter potentially will pass our mitochondrial DNA on to yet another generation.

View all my reviews

Book Review: "A Dirty Job" by Christopher Moore

2011-07-08T10:04:00.000-06:00

A Dirty Job by Christopher Moore

My rating: 4 of 5 stars

Very enjoyable read. I saw the ending coming (well, the real identity of the Luminatus, at least) from very early on, but I really love these books. They're hilarious and easy, and greatly entertaining.

View all my reviews

There's No Better Way to Say It

2011-07-05T14:03:00.000-06:00

Thank you, Blair.

http://theheirtoblair.com/2011/07/05/be-a-safe-haven/

May all parents take this as a reminder that our job is to be a safe haven for our children.

Book Review: "The Metatemporal Detective" by Michael Moorcock

2011-07-01T11:02:00.002-06:00

The Metatemporal Detective by Michael Moorcock

My rating: 3 of 5 stars

A very enjoyable collection of stories! At times this encompasses Lansdale and traditional steampunk, while at others is more contemporary. This was not a terribly fast read, but it was entertaining. I am eager to read more of Moorcock's books.

View all my reviews

2 Months

2011-06-27T09:41:00.001-06:00

Stats:
Length: 23" (75th Percentile)
Weight: 9 lb, 4 oz (15th Percentile)

Poor L has reflux, and a brand new prescription for baby Zantac (which is horrendously minty because apparently the makers of the drug hate babies. Or think they have bad breath.). Hopefully that helps!

Smile

2011-05-30T22:04:00.000-06:00

Precocious

2011-05-29T22:19:00.001-06:00

L smiled a week ago, at 3 1/2 weeks. Tonight, she rolled over, back to front, on the carpet. I'm in awe. (The pic was snapped as she was trying to roll back and got really mad.)

1 Month Old

2011-05-27T22:09:00.000-06:00

Musings

2011-05-25T15:45:00.000-06:00

My daughter is 4 weeks old today.

My son is crazy in love with his sister, but he has also been crazy clingy to me lately and only wants me to do things with him.

I've trained one dog to only lick her butt in her bed (because ew, it's just gross if she does it on the couch) and the other dog to pick and eat his own dandelion flowers. Our patch of grass is flower free (once again) as soon as he gets out there every morning.

I think we'll plant some of our baby plants out in the garden this afternoon. It's finally not pouring rain, so the dirt is good and it's warmish out.

Book Review "The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks" by Rebecca Skloot

2011-05-09T12:59:00.000-06:00

The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks by Rebecca Skloot

My rating: 4 of 5 stars

This is (yet another) look at the history of science. This book is devastating and brutal in it's honesty about the history of the family to whom we owe a huge part of modern science: the HeLa cell line, and the Lacks family. As a scientist, I was not as outraged at some parts of this story as my husband (a non-scientist) but deeply saddened by what was once called "science" and the lack of ethics involved. It was great to get a look at the family behind HeLa, which was glossed over in my classes in college as having come from a "Helen Lane" and that was that. I hadn't realized the scope of the impact that the cell line had on science. I highly recommend this book to anyone and everyone. There are parts that make you hate the doctors and the people who take advantage (intentionally or not) of the Lacks family, and parts that made me glad to be in my chosen profession. I definitely learned a lot about the history of ethics in research science, and how very new that role is.

View all my reviews

I have read 29 of my goal of 75 books for 2011.

Happy Mother's Day!

2011-05-08T22:36:00.000-06:00

Happy Mother's Day! I hope it was wonderful!

With kids like these, it's easy to pretend I'm a photographer!

2011-04-30T21:52:00.000-06:00

J and L decided to be my subjects tonight. Well, L didn't really have any say, though she required her pacifier. Since it's pretty hard to photograph your baby while she's eating, I went with it. Happy plus paci is better than mad without one.

Baby L's Birth Story

2011-04-28T12:58:00.000-06:00

Baby girl made her arrival last night (4/27) at 7:44pm. 6 pounds, 7 ounces and 19 3/4" of perfection, with crazy long fingers and a sweet little face.

Quick summary:
Labor started at 7:45ish am on 4/27. Arrived at hospital at 4:45pm, upstairs at L & D at 5. At 7:34 my water broke, and at 7:44 after 3 pushes, L was born! I did not have any pain medication or an epidural, and I would not have done it any other way. It made for the most intense half hour of my life, but it was SO worth it.

If you don't want to read the long and graphic version, stop now.

No, really, stop now, unless you want to read about my cervix and mucus and stuff.

Ok, here goes!

I had been just generally uncomfortable on Tuesday 4/26, all day, and my low back had been aching all night. My first contractions that were clearly labor contractions started at about 7:45am on 4/27. We just did our normal thing for a Wednesday, since I was on maternity leave already, so basically C and J went to teach a music class for a local daycare (well, C went to teach, J went to have fun). They came home just about 11, and we went to the library. At that point my contractions were about 7 minutes apart, and while painful/intense didn't really require a whole lot of concentration to get through. While getting dressed right before going to the library I noticed some bloody show, but didn't really think much of it. After the library, we had lunch and watched a movie, and my contractions were closer to 5-6 minutes apart and getting stronger. I took a shower and managed to more or less shave my legs (really, really impressive at pretty much 40 weeks pregnant and in labor...) Each time I went to the bathroom there was an insane amount of mucus, so I knew that my contractions were making me dilate and really lose my plug, as opposed to the past few days where I'd had some mucus but not a lot.

I called my midwives at 3, then called my mom to come get J. We got to the hospital to check in at about 4:30, but didn't actually get checked in until 4:45 because nobody was at the desk We got up to our Labor and Delivery room at 5:00. The nurse we had (for about 5 minutes, due to shift change) was awesome and had observed me through couple of contractions during the checkin, and said I was doing beautifully. At that point, I was really just making an effort to breathe and relax through the pressure waves, though some were harder to get through than others.

Once up in L&D I had to be on the monitor for 20 minutes. My midwife checked me and I was 4cm, 70%, and -2 station. The waves were still something I could just breathe and relax through, though once I was off the monitor I wanted to be in the bathtub. The nurse told me she'd come back and check on me (as would my midwife) in about an hour and a half, then monitor me some more. This was at about 5:30. By 6:00, in the bath, I was having to vocalize through the waves, and found open sounds like "aaaaaaah" to help the most. About this time I asked C to get me a snack, so I had a granola bar. It was nice, and I was sipping water the whole time as well. Yet another perk to not having an epidural this time...

By about 6:40 I wanted to get out of the tub, and onto the birthing ball. That was heaven. I had noticed some more bloody show when I used the toilet and when I was in the bath, and things were really intensifying. I was starting to shake and having a harder time relaxing, but still able to relax between contractions (this was in the bathtub, still). I noticed my waves were much closer together, but I don't know how close as I wasn't looking at a clock. After a few minutes on the ball, I threw up. I made it through a few more waves and started feeling pushy, and decided that it was time to be checked. I paged the nurse, and everyone came in. I was telling C at this point that I didn't want to do this anymore, and that I couldn't do it.

My midwife checked me, and I was 6cm, 100% effaced, bulging waters, and L was at 0 and definitely in transition. This was at about 7:00/7:15. They put me on the monitor, and gave me oxygen because they noticed that L was having some late decels with contractions.They tried to get my IV locks started (2, in case I needed blood quickly, given my history of postpartum hemorrhage) and ended up having to have Anesthesia come do it, because the nurse couldn't get a stick and blew out veins in both hands (very weird, I usually have awesome veins). The anesthesia person came and got my left one done quickly. Contractions were very intense, and very hard to breathe through, and I really think my vocalizations were probably pretty loud at that point. I was desperately trying to breathe with my midwife (also awesome) through the urge to push but it was difficult to say the least. I remember saying again that I didn't want to do it anymore, that I couldn't, etc. At 7:34 my water broke, and there was some meconium present. I could no longer control my body's urge to push, and the anesthesiologist had just gotten my IV finished on my right hand when I started pushing. I was laying on my left side. Within a few minutes, I was complete snd pushing with my urges. I felt like I was about to have a bowel movement (I didn't) and then I felt the "ring of fire," which really wasn't that bad compared the the contractions at that point. My midwife looked down and said "hey, we're having a baby" and everyone sort of paused, not expecting that to be so soon. One more push and L's head was out, and another after that and the rest of her came slithering out. She was born at 7:44pm, after 12 total hours of labor and the most intense 30 minutes of my life,. No tears, no stitches, nothing! I feel amazing and am very proud of myself.

Oh, and the reason for L's decels was that she was all wrapped up in the cord. I did get her on my chest immediately, and she pooped again. Her APGAR scores were 8 and 9.

39 Weeks

2011-04-25T15:55:00.000-06:00

How Far along: 39 weeks, 4 days

Baby size: About 7 1/2-8 pounds, assuming she's gained an ounce a day since our 36 week u/s which said she was 6lb 1oz at that time

Total weight gain: 19 pounds still.

Maternity clothes: Yep.

Sleep: I'd still sleep better with a newborn at this point. I am glad I'm on maternity leave now, I can actually take long naps every day, because dammit, I need them.

Best Moment this week: Easter was lots of fun with C's family. J enjoyed himself, as did C and I.

Movement: Yep, still moving, still painful, still wiggly.

Gender: GIRL!

Labor signs: False alarm last Thursday/Friday...I thought I had a slow fluid leak, and paired with painful, intensifying contractions that were getting closer together I thought it was the real deal. Apparently I was wrong on all counts. Otherwise I'm still having contractions but they're not really getting terribly intense yet. I keep saying my Hypnobabies affirmation that my baby knows just when to arrive, and that my body instinctively knows how to give birth, but it's getting a little frustrating to still be pregnant.

Belly button: Still in but very small and shallow crater-like. It looks like a star.

Cravings: Chocolate.

What I miss: Everything. Not being a raging bitch because my hormones suck.

Stretch Marks: Yep, but still no more new ones.

What is different this time around: Pretty much everything.

What I am looking forward to this week: Every day is closer to the day I meet my daughter. I am enjoying being at home so far, hopefully I'll get some cleaning and stuff done in the next couple days.

Book Review: "Cutting For Stone" by Abraham Verghese

2011-04-19T13:48:00.002-06:00

Cutting for Stone by Abraham Verghese

My rating: 5 of 5 stars

Any review I leave would not do this book justice. All I can say is that it is powerfully written, deeply gripping, and not a book that will be forgotten.

View all my reviews

38 Weeks. Yep, still here.

2011-04-18T09:54:00.000-06:00

How Far along: 38 weeks, 4 day. As of 5:45 tonight, I will be more pregnant than I've ever been.

Baby size: About 7 pounds

Total weight gain: 19 pounds. Maybe that's a good sign, my MW told me she usually sees a plateau or a pound or two of loss the week before labor starts.

Maternity clothes: Yep.

Sleep: I'd sleep better with a newborn at this point.

Best Moment this week: Um...yeah. I guess my nap on Saturday might count. I have not been in a very good mood the last few days.

Movement: Yep, still moving, still painful, still wiggly.

Gender: GIRL!

Labor signs: Thursdays suck ass. Every Thursday for the last 3 weeks I've had real contractions that either wake me up or start in the morning after I'm up, then increase in frequency and intensity throughout the day, keep me up that night, then come Friday? NOTHING. I just want this kid to be as done as I am. Doesn't she know there is boob juice out here?

Belly button: Still in but very small and shallow crater-like. Also, J thinks he can see his sister through it. He occasionally tries to pull her out through it. This doesn't work.

Cravings: Chocolate.

What I miss: Everything. Not being a raging bitch because my hormones suck.

Stretch Marks: Yep, but still no more new ones.

What is different this time around: Pretty much everything.

What I am looking forward to this week: Every day is closer to the day I meet my daughter. J came at 38 weeks 4 days, so maybe today is my day. Also this is my last week of work! Yay!

Oh for the love of Pete...

2011-04-16T23:01:00.001-06:00

One of the bump.com message boards I frequent had a post about vaccines. The woman posting seems to know what she's doing and asked for reasonable advice, and is just doing her research about vaccinating her preemies. Anyway, I responded that she should read Paul Offit's book Deadly Choices (I posted the review here). Someone else responded with a "I went to a seminar by the author of Vaccine Epidemic and I haven't read the book, though. I learned some really interesting stuff and I might ask my pediatrician about some of it and follow their advice." Really? REALLY?! First of all, Offit is a DOCTOR, an MD, who knows the medical science behind vaccines and the diseases they prevent. Neither of the editors of Vaccine Epidemic has any scientific background (from what I can glean from their author bios); one has an MA and one is a lawyer. They are both human rights specialists. One would think that if they truly cared about humanity/human rights, they wouldn't spread such tripe and would instead try to help people understand why vaccines and modern medicine can HELP people have a better quality of life, rather than such bullshit. And no, I haven't read the book. I may read it just so I can better understand what the fuck these people have to say about something that saves lives. It just seems, from an outside view, that it is unconscionable for human rights activists to basically say that vaccines are scary and the companies that make them just want to get money for them. Dammit. Now I have to read their fucking book. Oh, and a bonus? The amazon.com description basically says that their entire book is ANECDOTAL evidence. Not scientific evidence. Coincidence and even subsequence does not equal causality, dumbass editors.

Dear god. This is one of those moments when my faith in humanity slips a little bit. If you're going to write a book about why companies that make vaccines are evil, at least enlist someone credible with some science background. Oh wait, nobody fitting that description would be involved with such an endeavor. Gah.

Book Review: "The Lover's Dictionary" by David Levithan

2011-04-12T13:50:00.000-06:00

The Lover's Dictionary by David Levithan

My rating: 4 of 5 stars

This was a very, very fast read. I read the whole thing over my lunch break. The story is piecemeal, and sweetly but poignantly done. I really enjoyed the style and setup, it reminded me of a short story I recently listened to called "Annabell's Alphabet" where each letter had a short bit of the story with it. This was overall a very enjoyable read.

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Also, this brings me to 22 of 75 books read for the year. Woot.

37 Weeks

2011-04-11T10:43:00.001-06:00

Once again with the weird line...

How Far along: 37 weeks, 4 days

Baby size: About 7 pounds, maybe 6lb 13 oz (still assuming she's gaining an ounce a day)

Total weight gain: 20 pounds

Maternity clothes: Yep.

Sleep: I'd sleep better with a newborn at this point.

Best Moment this week: Um...being full term? Ooh, and I got to take a nap both days this weekend! Yeah, my standards have gone down.Though J helped me (well, helped in the way that only a 3 year old can) start seeds for our garden, so that was pretty fun.

Movement: Yeah, although she's definitely run out of room so her movements are either uncomfortable or painful most of the time.

Gender: GIRL!

Labor signs: Getting more contractions, but no real change in intensity. They average about 10-12 minutes apart on days I have them, and some days I only have two or three an hour.Oh, and L dropped *again* (which I didn't know was possible) last Thursday. Ouch. So now she basically feels like shes working on falling out.

Belly button: Still in but very small and shallow crater-like.

Cravings: Chocolate, meat, and orange juice.

What I miss: Not being pregnant? And being able to have sex comfortably/enjoyably.

Stretch Marks: Yep, but no new ones lately. Thank goodness.

What is different this time around: Pretty much everything.

What I am looking forward to this week: Every day is closer to the day I meet my daughter. J came at 38 weeks 4 days, so hopefully sometime in the next week L will show up.

36 weeks! Almost there...

2011-04-04T10:34:00.000-06:00

How Far along: 36 weeks, 4 days

Baby size: About 6 pounds, according to our u/s last Thursday, which said she was 6lb 1 oz. So maybe 6lb 5 oz.

Total weight gain: 19 or 20 pounds, depending on the day.

Maternity clothes: Yep.

Sleep: I miss good, sound, painless sleep. I am always sleepy at this point, due to not sleeping well and having to get up at least once a night to pee and for heartburn. Also, contractions now wake me/keep me awake. Fun times.

Best Moment this week: Date weekend! J was at C's parents house for the weekend, so it was just C and I. It was really nice, though I did miss J. C and I got a free lunch at the Melting Pot on Saturday which was awesome (aside from tax/tip, of course).

Movement: Yeah, although she's definitely run out of room so her movements are either uncomfortable or painful most of the time.

Gender: GIRL!

Labor signs: Still lots of BH contractions, about 80% are mildly painful (a 1 on a scale of 1-10). They don't seem to be getting more frequent yet though. Plus L is super low...the u/s tech had to actually move her head to even see how far the placenta was from the cervix last week because her head is mashed up against my cervix.

Belly button: Still in but very small.

Cravings: Nothing particularly new.

What I miss: Same as always: bending over, not waddling from my sciatica and the baby having dropped. Being able to bend down and stretch my back out. Sleep. Not having to have a pillow between my knees at night. Being able to sit "like a lady" with my legs together. Being able to hold J and snuggle him close on my lap instead of on top of my belly.

Stretch Marks: Yep, although they *knock on wood* seem to be done reproducing.

What is different this time around: Pretty much everything.

What I am looking forward to this week: Full term on Thursday!

What a Day!!

2011-04-02T20:27:00.000-06:00

J is at the in-law's house for the weekend, so C and I are enjoying some couple time and the gorgeous weather we had today. My favorite consignment store was having a monster sale today, and since I didn't get many newborn sized clothes from my older sister (and who knows when I'll actually get them from her...) I figured it was a good idea to get some from the store. The sale was that everything 0-9 months was $1 (including 2 piece or 3 piece outfits/sets)! In all, I came home with 12 onesies, 4 more onesies that were part of outfits/came with pants, some overalls, a darling little green dressy jumper, a sweet 4th of July outfit, a very cute one-piece outfit (kind of onesie-like) and a jacket to match one of the outfits I got. My total? $14 for the lot. My receipt says I saved $39!!! Here's my loot, just because I am so proud of it.

After the shopping, C and I went to Historic Downtown Littleton and browsed the shops a bit, and had lunch at The Melting Pot (for which we had a certificate for a free lunch). After our fantastic lunch (fondue=YUM= Happy pregnant Tena!) we went to a local nursery/garden center and picked up things that I need for starting my garden. I even got to lay down (didn't fall asleep, but that's okay) when we got home and C was grilling dinner.

All in all, I'd say that today was just about perfect!

Update

2011-04-01T13:28:00.000-06:00

We had our 36 week follow up on my low-lying placenta yesterday. It moved up a lot, now is 4.42 cm from the cervix! Yay for not having to schedule a C-section! Baby girl is way low, the tech had to push her head out of the way (a lot) to even get the measurement she needed because apparently my cervix makes a nice pillow. That and my bladder. L is measuring right about 6 pounds. I think we may have caught her right after a growth spurt last time since she's no longer measuring a week ahead, just right on. No pictures, but it was still neat to see her all curled up in there.

Book Review "Deadly Choices: How the Anti-Vaccine Movement Threatens Us All" by Paul A. Offit

2011-03-30T21:19:00.000-06:00

Deadly Choices: How the Anti-Vaccine Movement Threatens Us All by Paul A. Offit

My rating: 5 of 5 stars

This was a fascinating and horrifying read. It addressed the history of vaccines, as well as the anti-vaccine movement, which started very shortly after the first vaccine (for smallpox, via cowpox) was developed. The amount of misinformation in the world that is used by anti-vaccine activists is truly saddening. Having taken a fair amount of immunology coursework in my educational path to my two degrees, I felt that I was well prepared to read this book; however, the book is written in such a way that even someone with no scientific background whatsoever can benefit from the information therein. I cannot recommend this book highly enough. If you have children, you should read it. Maybe it won't change the mind of anti-vaccine parents, but it will at least clarify some things for most people. I was also pleased to note that the last 50 or so pages of text are all references. The only thing I wasn't so keen on was the depiction of chiropractors; I feel that the author should have drawn a better distinction between chiropractors who believe that there are no germs and that everything wrong with your body can be fixed by an adjustment and those who believe that having a properly aligned back can help you live a pain free, and therefore healthier life. In the grand scheme of things, though, that doesn't really matter.

Overall, this book is amazing. I had no idea the extent of the anti-vaccine movement (although at least 2 of my sisters and possibly my older brother as well have not vaccinated their children, and my youngest brother is not vaccinated either) and the misconceptions spread by its members until I read this book. I only knew that people claimed that thimerosal caused autism (very, very well refuted by multiple studies). I didn't know that going back to my own childhood there were claims that vaccines caused mental and physical disabilities.

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35 weeks!

2011-03-28T09:18:00.001-06:00

I have no idea about the line through the picture...weird. Also, I remember this sweater being much longer!

How Far along: 35 weeks, 4 days

Baby size: About 6 pounds, assuming she's gaining about 1/2 pound a week (or an ounce a day, per my ticker).

Total weight gain: 18 pounds, depending on the day.

Maternity clothes: Yep.

Sleep: I miss good, sound, painless sleep. I am always sleepy at this point, due to not sleeping well and having to get up at least once a night to pee and for heartburn.

Best Moment this week: My book club friends had a little shower type thing for me on Friday night, it was awesome and so very sweet! Also, J came and napped with me on Saturday; I haven't actually gotten to sleep with my boy since he was a baby.

Movement: Yeah, although she's definitely run out of room so her movements are either uncomfortable or painful most of the time.

Gender: GIRL!

Labor signs: Still lots of BH contractions, about 95% are mildly painful (a 1 on a scale of 1-10); however, they aren't too frequent and I can stop taking cramp bark when they become frequent in 3 days! Whee!

Belly button: Still in but very small.

Cravings: Nothing particularly new, I guess apple juice.

What I miss: Same as always: bending over, not walking all gimpy because of my sciatica. (Getting adjusted has definitely helped though!) Being able to bend down and stretch my back out. Sleep. Not having to have a pillow between my knees at night. Being able to sit "like a lady" with my legs together. Being able to hold J and snuggle him close on my lap.

Stretch Marks: Yep, although I haven't gotten new ones in a couple weeks.

What is different this time around: Pretty much everything.

What I am looking forward to this week: Ultrasound on Thursday afternoon to see if the placenta moved up. I really, really, really hope it did.

Thoughts on Blue Bell Ice Cream

2011-03-24T20:31:00.000-06:00

Apparently it's a big deal, but Blue Bell ice cream is now available in Colorado. Eager to see what the big deal was all about, C went and bought some. It's really nothing special. I honestly think Ben and Jerry's is better. So is Haagen Dazs. Nothing beats Tillamook, of course, but we haven't had that ice cream since we left WA. It really was awesome. *Sigh*
So, in conclusion, Blue Bell is nothing special. Really. Not very exciting. About on par with Breyers, in my opinion, actually.

Nobody gave me anything for me to write this, I just figured I'd put my opinion out there. And if anyone from Tillamook wants to send me some ice cream, that would rock. Really, really, really rock. Like the huckleberry one. Mmm...

Countdown/Countup

2011-03-24T13:14:00.000-06:00

I am 35 weeks pregnant today. I have 35 days left until my estimated due date.
I have one week left of taking cramp bark to slow contractions when they become too frequent.
I have two weeks left until L is considered "full term."
I have 3 weeks and 4 days until the same date in my pregnancy that J was born.
L, assuming she has gained about a half pound a week since our last u/s, now weighs about 6 pounds. If she keeps this up, and stays in til 40 weeks, she'll weight about 8 pounds when she's born.
If she comes the same time J did, she'll weigh about 7 1/2 pounds.
I measured my belly this week, just for giggles, since it came up in a poll on the April 2011 moms board. Then I measured my boobs. Turns out that my belly is bigger than my boobs, but only by 2 inches. And my bra is fitting snugly because I'm no longer a 34G. I'm a 36G/34H. Gah. I think I'll be getting a bra extender this weekend...

34 weeks!

2011-03-21T10:33:00.000-06:00

How Far along: 34 weeks, 4 days

Baby size: About 5 1/2 pounds, assuming she's gaining 1/2 pound a week.This means she's bigger than my sister was at birth. Wowza. Granted, my sister was eeny teeny, but still.

Total weight gain: +17-18 pounds, depending on the day.

Maternity clothes: Yep.

Sleep: I miss good, sound, painless sleep. I'd rather sleep than just about anything else.

Best Moment this week: I got to see FireFall in concert on Saturday, they played an awards ceremony and my brother was in the orchestra with them. That was pretty cool. Also my mom's birthday was yesterday, so that was fun. We got to hang out with my brother E and his girlfriend M, whom I really like. I think she's the best one he's had, and I think she might be a little crazy for liking him so much. I did get some good snuggles in with J, too. So I guess the weekend was the best moment?

Movement: Yep, all the time. I need a break sometimes.

Gender: GIRL!

Labor signs: Still lots of BH contractions, about 90% are mildly painful (a 1 on a scale of 1-10)

Belly button: Still in but very small.

Cravings: Chocolate, fruit (especially berries), steak. Ribs. Mmmm, meat.

What I miss: Same as last week: bending over, not walking all gimpy because of my sciatica. (Getting adjusted has definitely helped though!) Being able to bend down and stretch my back out. Sleep. Not having to have a pillow between my knees at night. Being able to sit "like a lady" with my legs together. Being able to hold J and snuggle him close on my lap.

Stretch Marks: Yep, although the most recent rash is gone. Whew.

What is different this time around: Pretty much everything.

What I am looking forward to this week: Erm...Being 35 weeks on Thursday, and then the weekend. Every day is closer to full term, and closer to when I can meet my girl and she can stop abusing me.

Happy St. Patrick's Day!

2011-03-17T07:30:00.000-06:00

This is his "picture" face.

33 Weeks. OMG.

2011-03-14T11:31:00.000-06:00

How Far along: 33 weeks, 4 days

Baby size: About 5 pounds, assuming she's gaining 1/2 pound a week.

Total weight gain: +16-18 pounds, depending on the day.

Maternity clothes: Yep.

Sleep: I miss good, sound, painless sleep.

Best Moment this week: We had a friend over for dinner, and overall yesterday was very nice.

Movement: Yep, all the time.

Gender: GIRL!

Labor signs: Still lots of BH contractions, which are becoming mildly painful.

Belly button: Still in.It's a weird "target" with no stretch marks.

Cravings: Chocolate, sausage (not together, ew), and orange juice.

What I miss: Same as last week: bending over, not walking all gimpy because of my sciatica. Being able to bend down and stretch my back out. Sleep. Not having to have a pillow between my knees at night.Being able to sit "like a lady" with my legs together.

Stretch Marks: Yep, including the new ones that come with a rash.

What is different this time around: Pretty much everything.

What I am looking forward to this week: Um...I have an appointment on Friday.

Book Review "Vision in White" by Nora Roberts

2011-03-12T13:43:00.002-07:00

We read this for March book club. This review contains spoilers.

Vision in White by Nora Roberts

My rating: 1 of 5 stars

Oh dear. How Nora Roberts has that many books published is absolutely beyond me. I never, ever, in a million years, would have thought I'd say this, but the Twilight series is better written All I can say is that the story is cute, and if you really, really love wedding planning then this book isn't too bad. The dialog was atrocious- it was like a 50-something woman (not surprising, actually) was trying to mold her own speech patterns to teenagers, when she was trying to write twenty-somethings. And the sex scenes? I don't think I've ever read LESS sexy sex scenes. As soon as you try to describe great sex as "shattering" and say that a man "destroys" a woman with his mouth, well...you get this mess. As my husband put it, when I read him those scenes, he said it was like someone who really hates sex, and finds it very unpleasant and painful, trying to write a good sex scene. I just can't imagine how anyone who has ever had an orgasm could write sex so terribly. Overall, I found the story very contrived and predictable. It was a fast and easy read. When you get to the end, and the protagonist has only just gotten engaged, the title has absolutely no place with the story arc, beyond the obvious "four friends running a wedding agency." I almost want to read one of Roberts' first books to see if she's just gotten bad, or if she was always like this. Almost.

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A First

2011-03-09T21:40:00.000-07:00

I found my first gray hair a few days ago. On top of my head, right along the part. I pulled it out, because with my big ole belly I couldn't get close enough to the mirror to verify that it was, in fact, a gray hair, and not a freaky pale blond one that I occasionally get. It was actually beautifully white, not gray. Kind of neat. I don't know if it appreciated me ripping it out by the root. I had sort of figured I'd be older than 30 when I started going gray, but whatever. My dad was totally gray by the time he was my age, and by his 60th birthday his hair was snowy white. I'll leave the next one there.

32 weeks!

2011-03-07T11:18:00.000-07:00

Is it just me, or is my belly SMALLER this week?

How Far along: 32 weeks, 4 days

Baby size: About 4 1/2 pounds, per our u/s last week and my ticker.

Total weight gain: +15 pounds.

Maternity clothes: Yep.

Sleep: I really can't get enough, but I am still not sleeping well.

Best Moment this week: Our weekend was packed with fun, including the Denver Art Museum free day, Mardi Gras celebration at a local restaurant where C's jazz combo was playing, shopping and dinner with BIL and his family. Overall, the whole weekend was the best moment of the week ;-).

Movement: Yep, all the time.

Gender: GIRL!

Labor signs: Still lots of BH contractions.

Belly button: It's kind of getting smaller but still in.

Cravings: Gooey brownies with ice cream, fresh orange juice.

What I miss: Bending over, not walking all gimpy because of my sciatica. Being able to bend down and stretch my back out. Sleep. Not having to have a pillow between my knees at night.Being able to sit "like a lady" with my legs together.

Stretch Marks: Yep.

What is different this time around: Pretty much everything.

What I am looking forward to this week: The weekend?

Updates on L

2011-03-03T20:01:00.000-07:00

We had our 32 week (!!) followup ultrasound today. Our girl is healthy and wiggly and head down, and kept her hand in front of her face the entire time. She's measuring a week ahead size-wise, and weighs about 4 1/2 pounds. She's supposed to gain about a half pound a week from here on out, so depending on when she shows up she'll likely weigh between 6 and 8 pounds. We do have to go back in 4 weeks for another followup to check whether my placenta has moved up any further (as of today, it's moved an entire half a centimeter in 12 weeks, and is still considered "low lying.") Anyway, we did get some cute pictures (these are the best 2) and J was very excited to see pictures of his sister. He's been talking about it all week.

Don't worry, she doesn't have a strange growth on her face. It's the ultrasound distorting her arm.

Here she is with her arm, again covering up her little face!