Watcher at the Window

I was looking at some of J's little baby pictures (I know, he's still a baby; 10.5 months and 21 pounds of baby, but a baby) and realized with a bittersweet ache how much he's grown. Every day he becomes more like a toddler baby than an infant. One of his favorite activities is to stand in front of the window and look out. Of course, that involves C or me placing J in a standing position, but once there, he grasps the windowsill with his little chubby hands, stands up on his tippy toes, and strains to look out the window, since the windowsill is about level with his nose. He will spend as long doing this as we are willing to spot him for, until his legs get tired. He had never really showed any great interest in standing until fairly recently, so while most babies will stand with help from a few days/weeks old, J would not. He would tuck his legs up and just laugh. Occasionally he would indulge us by standing for about a second on both legs before tucking up his feet, but that was all we'd get. We never got him a jumperoo or anything (*gasp*) so he's got some strengthening to do of his legs.
When his legs get tired, he prefers to be held up to the window, where he can press his little palms against the glass, and rest his face on his hands, and just gaze out the window. I wish we had a windowseat, that would make this much easier on my arms. His keen interest in observation, and his stubborn desire to keep looking out the window at the tree and the grass and the cable box are just markers of his blooming personality. He's really turning into a little person, reflecting Mommy's desire to study the world and Daddy's stubborn insistence that he do things just so.

A Happy Goat

This seems to be the world's happiest goat. Click the picture to get to the blog from whence it came. Happy Thursday!

Things I Miss, and Don't, About Being Pregnant

I know that I am getting closer to ready for baby number 2, since the thought of being pregnant, and morning sickness, and a risky delivery no longer scare the bejeezus out of me. I do still worry about my next delivery, wondering if I will have the massive hemorrhage that I did with J, but hope that the placental abruption was a one time thing.

Things I miss are feeling those first little kicks and jumps, and then the later rolls. Seeing the heartbeat, and my baby, on an ultrasound for the first time. Watching my belly grow, and making fun of my freaky belly button which never even flattened out, just got really small like a teensy star. Feeling the kicks from the outside, playing with him during meetings and talks. Knowing that I was going to have a baby after so many years of longing but waiting. Hearing the heartbeat on the doppler. Being spoiled rotten by my husband.

I do not miss the morning sickness (all day nausea, daily puking), meat aversion for 18 weeks. Having to sleep elevated, on my back, for the first 15 weeks so I wouldn't gag. The lack of sex drive. I do not miss my boobs getting ridiculously big (started out as Ds, went up to Fs, then after my milk had settled they were Gs. They still haven't gotten back to a D). I do not miss the stupid comments from strangers at work. Gestational diabetes. Contractions 5 minutes apart regularly from 33 weeks onward. Sciatica. Being uncomfortable for the last 5 weeks. Having to pee all the frickin' time. Hormones running amock. Heartburn.

I hope I will be ready to have a second child in another couple years. I think I will. I'm actually starting to get excited about it...

Updates and Randomness

The spiders are both still alive, and since we've only had one freeze they don't seem to be suffering for want of food. Neith has not laid any eggs, so I don't know if/when she will but I will be keeping an eye out to have an idea of her remaining life.

J has learned how to pull himself up to his knees, and sometimes will stand up (supported, of course) for a few seconds until his legs get tired, but he is definitely showing an interest in it! He is also a champ at sitting up from crawling around. It's amazing to me how much more toddler-like he is becoming, and how much less baby-like. He has fortunately not lost any interest in breastfeeding (yay!) so it looks like we can continue to nurse for at least a year. I am, however, counting down to when I can quit pumping (<2 months!) when he turns one.

C and I had a date on Friday (#12). We went out for coffee at this cool local place that we usually like, that has live music on Friday nights. Their coffee was not very good, the service sucked, and it was so loud we could hardly have a conversation. I overall enjoyed myself, but C didn't have that great of a time, unfortunately. Well, at least we went out and spent time together without the baby! That counts for something, right?

We are going down to see C's parents on Thursday to get our Christmas card pictures taken, which I normally would wait on since I do respect the turkey but Snapfish is having this great deal on holiday cards that I just cannot pass up! (Enter CARD08 at checkout, get your first set of 20 4x8 photo cards for a penny each! Good through Nov 23.) So naturally, that entails figuring out what C and J will wear, since I already know what I am going to wear. I think we will have to go consignment store hopping and find J something cute since I will not pay $20 for an outfit that he will wear once.

Do Spiders Hibernate?

Sweet Neith (dear god, did I just call a spider sweet?!) lives in a reasonably unsheltered corner of our porch. It is very cold here tonight, and I am a little concerned that she will perish. Bud at least has siding to hide under, Neith wouldn't fit any more than a few legs under the siding. She is currently huddled up in a pathetic little blob in the corner (in the picture below, she is the little blobby thing; sorry for the craptacular picture quality). I hope she survives the night, and then when it warms up tomorrow she will find a place to hibernate. Do spiders hibernate?
Ok...following a quick Google search, it seems that Neith and other spiders of her ilk (orb spiders and some others) do not, in fact, hibernate. They live for one year, lay their egg sac, and die during the winter. Sad.

On a related note, tarantulas do hibernate, and some females have been found to live 30-40 years! I think that Bud may be of a hibernating variety as well, but since I am still not sure what kind of spider he is, I don't actually know that.

Accomplishments!

Yay for getting things done! I have found a psychiatrist (#21), AND closed one of our credit accounts (#20). Woot! Go me! Plus, I am now about 1/4 of the way done with my list.

Of Dates and Money (or Lack Thereof) and Blessings

As I finished reading Cyndi's most recent entry, I realized that I am also blessed. Yes, C and I are struggling. But we have each other, and my job is not going anywhere unless the NIH gets shut down. C's job at BabiesRUs, well, that's not so stable. As of this week, he is now working a grand total of 7, yes, SEVEN hours per week. A month ago, he was working 15. *sigh* But, we're lucky, because he does have a job. He's looking and applying to at least 3 jobs every day, which is made much harder by the fact that he does not have a college degree since the U screwed up and told him he was all set, but left him 2 classes short of graduating when it came time to graduate. But that is neither here nor there. I am horribly stressed out about money, but at least we have enough to pay our bills, we own our house and it won't go anywhere no matter what (Grandma's the bank for our mortgage, we bought the house from her and she owned it outright. WOOT!), and our car runs.
All this considered though, we are fortunate.
5 things I am grateful for:'
1. my family, the whole mixed up bunch of them
2. my job
3. my friends, however little I actually see them
4. our house
5. my husband, who is such a wonderful father to our son and even though he is having trouble finding a new job and is stressed out, manages to make me feel loved

Speaking of C...while he was taking me to work this morning (after his whopping 2 hour shift), I mentioned that GoodTimes has a new pumpkin cheesecake spoonbender, and that we could probably go on a super cheap date and have a spoonbender and go to the dollar movies or something for under $10. We both admitted that it would be a lame date, but realized that we have not been out on a date since our anniversary which was 4 months ago. And we have only been on 2 dates since J was born, the other one being for our birthdays. Yeah. 2 dates since January. Of course, this defines a date as "without the baby." C tried to tell me we'd been on one more recently but I had to remind him that it doesn't count if we bring J. I need a date with my husband, to reconnect with him. Screw the movies. I just need to be able to do nothing with him, or go on a walk, or something, just the 2 of us. Something that doesn't require much money, since, as C is so "fond" of reminding me, we are poor and getting poorer.

Blessed. I am blessed. I must remember how many people are worse off than I am.

Apparently 5 of you like chocolate

At least, the 5 of you that took my poll. I would have thought that someone would not like chocolate, but I guess everyone likes it! Really, I can't blame anyone, I really like chocolate. A lot.

My 101 things to do in 1001 Days!

Having read Kate's blog, I got the idea for creating a list of 101 things to get done in the next 1001 days. Starting today. I think this will be a great experience! I may not get all of them done, but I hope to get most of them done! My list will be off to the side of my blog by all the stuff I've got stowed away over there. It is a work in progress and may take a little while for me to get everything listed, of course, but I am trying!

Another Spider Buddy!

Apparently Neith has the upper part of the porch covered as far as bug control goes, so a new, smaller spider, Bud, has moved in. I don't know if Bud is actually male, but I have decided that he is. Bud takes care of any bugs that happen to get near our doorknob. I actually watched him catch a mosquito a couple of nights ago; it was very interesting. Unlike Neith, who weaves lovely "traditional" webs, Bud seems to take the more minimalist approach and made a small, maybe 1" wide web that spans a corner for a few inches. The mosquito walked up the corner and was trapped under the web, at which point Bud struck and dragged the bitey bastardess to her doom. Bud seemed to enjoy his meal. I am currently researching what kind of spider Bud might be, but here is a picture of Neith's cousin, who looks very much like her. Same color and markings. It's pretty easy to see where the species gets it's name, huh?

Yay for Free Stuff!

Free stuff for voting!!

http://forums.slickdeals.net/showthread.php?threadid=989221

Not that this should be your only incentive, but hey, it's a nice reward.