Musings

Last night I was in our basement, painting cabinets (for the kitchen, final coat of paint before the protective top coat...The end is in sight). J and Dee came down to "hang out" and it turned into J sitting on a ball, using two plastic arrows to tap out a song on one of the metal support poles (to accommodate the expansion and contraction of the clay-soil our house is on). Dee was playing a "video game" that involved killing vampires so they wouldn't eat her baby that she brought down. J saw a giant (like 1") cricket and thought it was a spider, and nearly freaked out, but we caught the cricket in a jar (female, massively long ovipositor clearly visible) and Dee proudly marched the jar upstairs to show C, and ask him to please release the girl cricket outside. J visibly relaxed once the monster bug was out of his realm. I resumed painting.

I made pumpkin cookies to bring in to work today. Of course I had to eat a couple before bed, so I paid with heartburn and reflux all night, compounded by Dee getting up 3 (only three?) times, as well as needing to pee and chomp some more papaya enzyme tablets.

Today is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Day. I don't know if I can claim a loss I'm not even sure was really a loss. I don't want to falsely acknowledge something that never happened, but I also feel like I should acknowledge a loss that I had, confirmed by a stupid pee stick or not. I also feel, in my core, that Little Cat C (baby 3's current and possible forever bloggy nickname) was the child that tried to come then, and came back again. The child that was meant to be and fought like hell to show up on this earth. Do I mourn the loss of a child that came back? Of a child meant to be mine from the first? Or do I accept that I never knew if I was pregnant back then and move on? I never wanted to be part of the loss "club" but I also never wanted to be in limbo.

The melancholy persists, Little Cat C rolls gently in her sleep, meant to be mine.

Happy birthday to Dee!!

 We had a Fairy Party for Dee's 3rd birthday at my mom's house. She was thrilled, but apparently not in the mood to keep her wings on for any pictures. I'll eventually get one of her with her wings so I can show you guys.

 

Sitting in front of the Fairy Treats Table

 

The food table had the following (with labels, of course!): Fairy Cakes (vanilla cupcakes with strawberry buttercream frosting), fruits and veggies "From the Fairies' Garden" (raspberries, strawberries, purple cauliflower, baby carrots, and sugar snap peas); Toadstools (Baby Bell Cheese); Shooting Stars (yogurt star cookies); Magic Wands (yogurt star cookies attached to breasticks); Fairy Pillows (vanilla cupcake kettle corn); Kelpie Treats (seaweed and veggie straws). It was all a big hit!

Dragon Riding, naturally

J proudly wearing his "Poison dragon" wings (they had green glitter on the back, but you can't see that so well here)

My fairy child

All the kids had the choice between fairy wings and dragon wings. I think the boys all picked dragon wings off the bat, Dee wore her fairy wings for 5 minutes, and the other little girl wore 2 pairs of fairy wings and a pair of dragon wings for a while.

I wish my camera worked so I could have taken pictures of what I wanted (my phone doesn't take very good pictures), but my mom did take some nice ones and so did a friend of ours. Nobody got pictures of the little teeny fairies that were scattered around the house and balcony.


3 year stats: 37" and 28ish pounds. She was 50% for height and 17 for weight.

Birthday Boy

 

Six candles on a cupcake glow pretty bright! Happy birthday, kiddo. Thanks for being mine.  

My Sleeping Five-Year-Old For The Last Time

J turns six tomorrow. I want to snuggle him and savor his last night as a five-year-old.

Sweet dreams, sweet J.

After Our New Year's Walk

 

I took this after our walk on New Year's Day (you know, the fateful day when the stroller broke?). Anyway, everyone was pretty tuckered out and apparently the couch was the place to be! We were watching Good Eats if you were wondering.

Surprise New Year's Snow

 

This picture was taken on my phone a few days ago. Not today because I couldn't get a chance to take any today. The kids were playing in the snow we got on New Year's (unexpectedly). Clearly they had other priorities than looking at me... 

Happy 2014 From Mommy's Evil Geniuses!

The kids were practicing their evil laughs and also wanted to wish everyone a Happy New Year!

This was after we went on a 1.5 mile walk (the kids and me plus the dogs, though Dee was in the stroller). As we got home and returned to our garage (the door of which is not functioning as intended due to a busted gear in the opener, yay, but we can manually open and close it), one of the front wheels on the stroller broke off (like, the plastic snapped). So glad *that* didn't happen on our walk. Then about a minute after we got everyone inside, it started snowing. So what I'm saying is we had absolutely perfect timing.

First Day of School!

J started kindergarten yesterday. So far he absolutely loves it. He's made two friends in his class (and by friends, he means that he knows their names). Here's a picture of him (you only get the one, because the computer with our other pictures isn't working at the moment) waiting for the bell to ring, which was another whole new experience!

I know he looks terrified, but he was just feeling squinty. Also, I think his shirt was hungry.

The Finer Points of Pooping on Cows

J lost tooth #2 at his cousin's 4th birthday party on Saturday. There was a bouncy castle with a slide inside, and he somehow bit it (haha) on the way down and knocked out his tooth. He came running up to C and said "Daddy!! I went down the slide, and hit my face, and here's my tooth!" For the record, the tooth was already loose and nearly ready to fall out, so he wasn't actually hurt by the ordeal.

The tooth is in the baggie. I made him get out of the piñata line to get his picture. I'm so mean. (He didn't lose his place, the other kids were nicer than I am.)


The bouncy castle was a big deal for Dee too. She had lots of fun, as long as nobody bigger than her was in there at the same time.

 

Now, I bet you want to know about the pooping on cows. I mean, surely, I would never have included it if I didn't mean for you to find out about it, right?

On the way home today, Dee informed us that she needed to poop. This is a big deal, as she is potty trained now and we weren't quite home yet. So I asked if she needed to go right now, and she said "No, I need to poop...on a cow."

"On a cow?" I was bemused.

"Yes, me need poop on a cow."

This inspired an entire discussion about the uh...technical details of pooping on cows. We asked what she thought would happen if she pooped on a cow. She mentioned the stinky part, and said it would stick to the cow. J chimed in, wiser older brother that he is, and pointed out that it would depend on what *kind* of poop was going to be landing on the cow as to whether or not it would stick. At this point I was laughing pretty hard. Then Dee said "Moo" and I laughed so hard I cried. It was one of those moments you never expect, and then BAM, you look like an insane person riding in a car while your children discuss the finer points of livestock defilement. 

Moo.

Tooth Fairy

J lost his first tooth this weekend.

Awesome for him, bittersweet for me.

I think that playing Tooth Fairy has been the most disillusioning part of parenthood for me. I actually had to call my mother to ask her what I was supposed to do with J's tooth. C told me to throw it away, that keeping it would be creepy. My mom told me the same thing. So J's first baby tooth went in the trash. *sigh*

I remember when he first got that tooth. It was so sweet and exciting and adorable to see his gummy little mouth with the two tiny teeth just poking through.

5-Year-Olds = Awesome

The other day I made hamburgers. C told me I made a "mean" burger. A few minutes later, J happily informed me that his burger was "quite aggressive and delicious."

I love that boy.

Growing Up

We moved both kids to big/bigger kid beds last night. Dee still woke up twice, but no worse than normal! She *loves* that she can get in and out of her bed by herself. J still slept like a rockstar, as he always does. He loves his big bed! We got his bedding and bed from Ikea (bed frame, duvet cover, sheets). Dee has her old mattress and moved into the toddler bed that my father-in-law made for J when he turned two.

           

J's bed is sort of temporary. I will (this summer) be making him this bed (from Ana White's website) so that he and Dee will have more room in their shared room. He will be keeping his mattress since it's brand new and we just dropped a small fortune on it. It's important to us that our kids' exposure to outgassed, manmade chemicals be minimized when possible (lots of reasons why, but a good summary is given in Breasts, a Natural and Unnatural History), so we went with an organic cotton mattress for Dee (from Munchkin, got it at Target) and the Sultan Heggedal natural material mattress from Ikea for J. I figure he's going to be using it til he moves out, so it was worth the investment. He said it's a little too "hard" but it should soften a bit with use, and if it's still too firm we can always get a topper. Although the way he's been jumping on it, it might get softer really fast...

J's 5th Birthday: PIRATES!

J turned 5 this month (*sob*). We had a big old pirate party, and it was amazing. The kids all had a great time and, most importantly, J was absolutely thrilled with the decorations and things. So here we go!

Pirate hats - Acquired with eye patches, swords, and mustaches (as desired) by arriving guests.

The treasure chest: Goodie bags (a.k.a. treasure) was put in the chest, which was made of a divided cardboard box and duct tape. The tissue paper was taped over the bags, red "X" marks the spot! This worked great until J got impatient during the plunder and ripped off the whole sheet...oh well. The kids had to do a treasure hunt and find the treasure chest (with the help of First Mate Daddy). 

Treasure bags - sewn from black fabric and stamped using poster paint

Booty!

The "Pirate Pirate" - This ship (complete with two cannons) served as plaything, pirate gear storage (swords, etc), and gift receptacle. The white thing is one of the clues from the treasure hunt!

The Jolly Roger (which may or may not still be hanging up, on J's request)

"To Prevent Scurvy"

Pirate Booty, Cuties oranges, Grog (root beer), cannonballs (chocolate cake balls), and there were Goldfish crackers that I hadn't put in that blue bowl yet when I took the picture.

The treasure map cake, made by yours truly

Some Random Babble

I'm having a little trouble getting into the swing of things this morning, so let me just brain vomit on you for a while. Anyone who needs a towel is welcome to grab one. ;-)

My baby is 5 now. 5. FIVE. I get that he isn't a baby anymore, but 5 is no longer a toddler, no longer even a preschooler. He's 5 and will be starting Kindergarten in the fall (and soccer, too, if he still wants to). He's smart and sweet and so polite (it kills me a little when he says "Yes, ma'am" to me). Don't get me wrong, he's certainly got his mean moments and the occasional attitude, but over all, J is just about the sweetest little boy I've ever met. He sings songs to his sister (mostly "Rock a bye baby" which I think is probably a sweet way to threaten to put your baby in a tree if they don't stop crying). He makes crafts and things all the time. The other day he just made a dinosaur sculpture out of cardboard, told me it was a new duckbill that lives underground (so didn't go extinct), and named it "Dinoduckduck Di" for it's species name. He writes songs about superheroes and P-funk. I love him so much I can't breathe when I think about it.


As J and Dee both get older, the urge desire need ache for another baby (specifically a boy) is getting stronger. I know I hate being pregnant. I am sick the first half of the pregnancy, then everything hurts and I can't sleep and my sciatica gets so bad I can hardly walk. The heartburn is horrible. There's the utter exhaustion. But then...there's the magic of seeing that little pink line. Of knowing (in between pukes) that there's a person you are building, cell by cell, inside you. Speculations of whether that person is a he or a she. The little wiggles. Having the baby all to yourself. And the delivery...if I could have another delivery like Dee's, I would do it in a heartbeat. C is not on board with this.

I'm a little torn. I have *always* wanted 4 kids. I have 3 younger siblings, and 4 older ones (WAY older, like 15-20 years older, so we're not very close). When we were first talking about family, we had decided that we'd have 2 biological kids (presumably boys, given how C's family goes) and adopt 2 kids (girls). Once we entered the real adult world and realized that adoption is super expensive ($17-$30k, from the estimates I've seen) we have sort of pared down to adopt only one, just for financial reasons. I just can't deal with the heartbreak of the foster-to-adopt system, and I really want a baby so I can breastfeed it. But this yearning inside for 1 more biological kid is really tough. I would love to have a biological kid in a few years, and then adopt one so they have age-mates (within a couple years) like J and Dee, who are 3 years apart.

Anyway....

Chores for the Kiddos

J (now that he's 5) has requested chores to do so he can earn an allowance. After searching a bit, I found this great chart that breaks down chores by age! (from The Happy Housewife). Since I want to start simply, I think I will make a chart for both kids, probably with magnets and a dead cookie sheet (which I can cover with fabric). Dee is enthusiastic about cleaning up, but she doesn't really put things "way" where they go always. We've found some funny things in our tupperware cabinet as a result of her help, anyway!

(Click the photo for the source site)

I think to start, we'll have J do the following:
1. Vacuum entryway.
2. Mop the entryway.
3. Feed the dogs and let them out of their kennels after they're done eating.
4. 5 minute clean up of the living room (toys, clothes, books)
5. Make his bed.
6. Help put his clothes away.

Dee's chores:
1. Put stuffed animals away.
2. Put books away.
3. Wipe down baseboards. (Maybe. We'll see how she does with this one.)
4. Help put her clothes away.

J will be earning money, but I don't think Dee needs to do that yet. Maybe when she turns 5? Or understands? I think C and I had agreed on $1 a week for J, as long as he does everything on his list. A magnetic chart will definitely make it easier.

November 1, 2012 - Abracadabra!

To be fair, C took this picture, but I love it so I'm sharing it anyway.

In Night-Weaning News:
L came to bed with us at about 2 or 3, but again, this was the first (only?) waking she had. I just was too damn tired to stay up and nurse her. She slept peacefully and nicely while she was in bed with me, though, so it was nice and snuggly and sweet. She did nurse a good bit, but I still think we're making progress. 

October 31, 2102 - Happy Halloween!

L and J had a great time trick or treating and made out like bandits with 54 and 56 pieces of candy, respectively. They were both tired by the end of the evening, and both demanded to be carried home.  True to form, L was very serious about studying her candy while J was just plain happy!

Breasts: By Any Other Name....

Jugs, tatas, boobies, boobs, tits, gazongas, fun bags, dirty pillows, milk factories....the list goes on. I don't think any other body part has as many nicknames. Maybe penis does, but I think breasts win the name game.  Breasts have been on my mind *a lot* lately. Not least because we're getting close to a year after my cousin passed away from breast cancer, but also because I have a friend who was recently diagnosed with Stage 4 breast cancer. She's just completed round 4 of chemo and is kicking ass. I've recently started reading Breasts: A Natural and Unnatural History. L still nurses multiple times per day/night. As approaches the 18 month mark, I wonder how much longer we'll have before she decides to be done. This morning, I saw this on Facebook, and it got me thinking.

I've been breastfeeding for over 3 years, all told, between J and L.  I hope to get at least 3 more years in between L and future-baby-to-be-adopted. Between the breastfeeding and giving birth (which supposedly also lowers risk by 7%) I've lowered my risk by 29%. Not bad, really.

Then I saw this awesome article on I Am Not The Babysitter (the blog of the mom on that infamous Time magazine cover): Worldwide Average Age of Weaning. According to this article (actually written by Kathy Dettwyler, an anthropologist who has studied breastfeeding in cultures around the world) the global average age of weaning is between 2.5 and 7, but there are a number of challenges in calculating this, especially when including the US in the calculations. I'll let you read the article yourself, as it's very well done.

Here are some other links I've come across in the past that I've been meaning to share, but hadn't gotten to it yet.

On Beyonce breastfeeding, and why it's important:
http://lactationmatters.org/2012/03/13/why-beyonce-nursing-in-public-is-so-significant/

mochamanual.com/2012/03/02/dear-white-women-beyonce-is-our-breastfeeding-moment-please-step-aside/

More from Kathy Dettwyler:

http://www.kathydettwyler.org/detwean.html 

An interesting article about "how old is too old?"

http://dianaibclc.com/2011/02/24/old-enough-to-ask-for-it/

October 13, 2012 - Pumpkin Festival!

The kids were not their happiest, and the weather wasn't the best, but we had fun and got some pumpkins!

October 7, 2012

MacGuyver, we really need to talk about this monkey on your back.