Our New Year's Card Photo

Yep. We're sending out New Year's cards this year. 10 of them. That's about how much energy I had to devote to the project. I just finished editing the picture my sister took of the four of us. I think it came out pretty well, especially considering that it was taken in relatively low light and on a phone.

Oh, and don't mind Dee. She's... Dee.

In other news, I took the dogs on a walk today in the snowy, blowy cold. It was like 20 degrees out, and we made it a whole 1.38 miles. Yay! Almost 3 down...297 to go.

Surprise New Year's Snow

 

This picture was taken on my phone a few days ago. Not today because I couldn't get a chance to take any today. The kids were playing in the snow we got on New Year's (unexpectedly). Clearly they had other priorities than looking at me... 

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My Mister Beagle-butt

Nine years ago we brought this hound home and named him MacGuyver. Yes, like the show. It is spelled wrong, I know, and I have only myself to blame. C got him for me for my 22nd birthday/Christmas present. We adopted him from a family who had gotten him as a puppy and had hoped to train him as a hunting dog. A duck hunting dog. If you are familiar with beagles at all, you likely know that they are traditionally rabbit hunters, and they prefer to avoid water unless they have absolutely no other option other than, say, death. I once carried MacGuyver into a lake up to my thighs just to prove that the water wouldn't hurt him. He swam back to shore and gave me what can only be described as a withering look. He will get his paws wet on very hot days but will not willingly get anything else damp. You might say he's a little prissy. You might be right.

I will likely write more about him in about a month when he turns ten. In the meantime, he's napping on my bed in the beagle nest he's made.

Happy 2014 From Mommy's Evil Geniuses!

The kids were practicing their evil laughs and also wanted to wish everyone a Happy New Year!

This was after we went on a 1.5 mile walk (the kids and me plus the dogs, though Dee was in the stroller). As we got home and returned to our garage (the door of which is not functioning as intended due to a busted gear in the opener, yay, but we can manually open and close it), one of the front wheels on the stroller broke off (like, the plastic snapped). So glad *that* didn't happen on our walk. Then about a minute after we got everyone inside, it started snowing. So what I'm saying is we had absolutely perfect timing.

2013: A Year in Review

Things That Happened:

J turned 5, and had a pirate party.

I turned 30, and C threw me a surprise party.

C turned 31, and I did not throw him a surprise party.

Dee turned 2.

I got the Mirena removed.

We went on a fabulous road trip this summer to visit my dad and step-mom in WA. The kids got to go to the beach for the first time, and they absolutely loved it. So did the dogs.

We refinanced (more or less) and now have no more budget issues. YAY! We aren't rich but we don't have to stress about money so much any more.

Dee graduated from diapers.

J lost his first tooth (and lost the second one a few weeks later)!

J started kindergarten.

The kids were dinosaurs (well, James was a pterosaur) for Halloween.

I had to put down my parents' 14 year old lab.

 Thanksgiving happened!

Christmas happened!

 

I read 51 books.

I ran/walked 43.7 miles (out of my goal of 300).

Quite a year, really. Let's see what 2014 will bring (other than the cold I have gotten since last night...)!


P.S. If you want to see my list of goals for 2014, there's a tab at the top of the page that should take you right to it :-).

Control

The day after election day. Always a turbulent one, is it not? Either the things you voted for passed or they didn't. In my case, they didn't. Badly. My state voted against something that would have helped schools across the state have funding. Teachers would have been able to have raises and job security, and the schools could have hired more teachers. They could have had more money to spend per student. Apparently, though, if it involves a tax increase (which would have been a measly $75 for my family, per year, though it would have created a tiered tax structure) for anyone, people will vote no. I tend to put my kids first, and I'm tempted to just give the school the $75 my taxes would have increased. I know nothing is perfect but come on. At least I voted.

My parents have a dog (had?), a chocolate lab. Shen. He's nearly 15, and we got him as a tiny brown furball just after I turned 16. We went and said goodbye to him this weekend. Well, me, C, Dee, and a close friend  (who until recently dated my brother and loved the dog like her own) did. J stayed in the car because he didn't want to go inside. Shen hadn't been eating. His back legs don't work. He lay there, shaking, and his tail didn't even try to wag and I sat there furious that they were letting him suffer like that. I was powerless to help. I am not strong enough to perform cervical dislocation on a (once) 120 pound lab. I had no options. I wanted desperately to end his suffering but I could do nothing. Just like when my grandma died. She, at least, had the refuge of morphine. Saying goodbye was the same. Shen was gone, only his husk remains. When I said goodbye to my grandma she was no longer present in her body. I said goodbye to their empty, ancient meat. That was all. This, two days after some of our best friends had to put their own dog down after his 18 years with them. I hope they've put him down by now, or that he's died on his own, but I've heard nothing.

Dee may be night weaned but she sure as shit isn't sleeping through the night. I have been up with her for at least an hour (continuous or not) 5 out of the last 6 nights. She sometimes sleeps all night, but it's rare. I just want a full fucking night of sleep. Like 10-6. With no interruptions, and I want to sleep IN. I haven't slept in since Dee was a baby, C was hunting, and we all slept until 11 one morning. That was over 2 years ago.

It seems that the universe is telling me I have no control over things. Reminding me. Taking away my sturdy ground and making me feel powerless and angry. Frustrated and helpless to the edge of tears. I control what I can. I let the OCD slip in here and there aroundtheedgeswheremaybeit'snottakingoveryet. I load the dishwasher. I put the spoons/forks/knives in their slots where they go so they're sorted. I desperately try to keep tiny little places sorted and clean. Plates aligned just so in our crappy tiny 20-year-old dishwasher. I can't focus. I fight the irrational fury from escaping and causing my kids' sweet faces to crumple. All J wants to do is read a book with me. It's a long and sometimes aggravating process because he's just learning but he insists on reading Level 2 readers because those are the Spider-Man books we have and because "See Mama, I can do these, I just need a little help and ugh I can't remember this word...". Dee...she's two. She's mercurial and sassy and smart and there are times when I cannot stand to be near her because she makes me want to scream for no reason at all. When I snap at them I break inside, watching the light in their eyes and their lips start trembling. I'm a terrible mother sometimes. Then J says things like "Mama, you're not lazy. You do all kinds of wonderful things for us like make us costumes." And I want to retreat into a cave and cry because I don't deserve them.

I know I'm being stupid and irrational. I have taken my meds. I know. I have been playing far too much Spore because it's somewhere I have 100% control over the things that happen to my people. 

Random Updates

Howdy, everyone... How's life?

Yeah, I've neglected the whole writing thing lately. Bad Tena, bad!

Anyway.

Dee is now totally night weaned (yay!!). This took telling her that we only nurse at bedtime and morning (which I count as 5am at the earliest) and that if she wakes up at night (which she does, usually once or twice at 1-2am) we will hug her and snuggle her and put her back in her bed.

I'm much happier and more sane off of Mirena, still. I've been charting CM, which seems to be working pretty well for us (also using VCF spermicide films, not just checking CM). I'm not a huge fan of the short LP I've been having (9 days? no thanks), but I started taking B6 a couple days ago. I'm currently on 10DPO but PMSing like crazy, so waiting for AF to show at any second. Bleh. Hopefully the B6 will help so I'm not like oh, hey, it's period time again. It helped in the past (between kiddos).

I haven't been running in ages, though my legs are all better. I was planning on going this week but between working on J's Halloween costume (a pteranodon) and someone having made off with my shoe inserts I don't see it happening. I really need to find those, I have no idea where they went. They were on my night stand one morning and that afternoon, poof! Vanished.

I think that's all for the moment. I'm going to take my wedding ring in to get resized and replated today. Whee! Do I know how to live or what?! It needs to be made bigger...turns out that yes, my finger got fatter over the last almost 10 years, and that gaining 20 pounds in that same time frame doesn't mean my fingers are still the same size that they were when I was 20/21.

What has happened to childhood?

I'm the first to admit that when I was a kid, I was a girly-girl. I lived in dresses, always had to be the girl/mommy when we played house, and I absolutely LOVED my Barbies and My Little Ponies. You know, like these ones (also, I love http://www.kimsites.net/dreamvalley/, without that site I never would have been able to figure out all the names of my old ponies that my kids now have).

Even though I was such a girly girl, I still got to let out my tough side. I was a caveman (yep, caveman) for Halloween once. My sister was my pet monster. We were fierce and awesome and had our own radio show. I was Rose, and she was Frank (I have no idea why she chose Frank). We used to interview characters from Sesame Street, Tiger Sharks, and, occasionally, our little brother.

 

We were normal kids. We did insane things like wear 3 pairs of socks so we could "scrunch" them. We wore tee shirts that were way too big so we could tie them on one side without making them too small. We wore leggings. And I used to have a dress that was white with day-glo puffy paint fish on it. I loved that dress. 

I remember my first bikini. I was 13 (I think) and I wore it so happily. I sunbathed in it, and on our trip to Florida I wore it on the beach. It was basically a sports bra and it was covered in giant roses. My favorite one (at about age 16?) was a (still conservative) halter top that was bright blue and green. My brother once (accidentally) let a lizard jump down it while I was sunbathing. I did have one that was dark blue, and actually more string-like, which I had when I was 14, but I only wore it to the beach for that one trip because I wasn't comfortable with how much it didn't cover my boobs. Have I mentioned that I was a D cup before I had kids?

I think I got my first pair of grown-up shoes (heels) at about age 12 or 13, and I loved them. I loved the sound they made when I walked. I loved that I was suddenly a little taller than 5'2".

Now I have a daughter. She's getting to have opinions on things. She, at not-quite-2 1/2, absolutely LOVES My Little Pony. She has my old ones (all 4 that I still had; Butterscotch, Sundance, Bangles, Yo-Yo) as well as one inherited from her cousins (who also inherited it, somehow) named Wisteria. She has a whole bunch of non-MLP ponies that she loves, and she has one new MLP. Rainbow Dash, the one with sparkles in her hair. Because the other one comes with a purse, and not a trophy. WHY?! Rainbow Dash is not all about accessories!

 

Anyway. Dee's opinions also extend to clothing. Her favorite outfits are dresses, especially with either her light up shoes or her pink cowboy boots. She will also wear jeans and stuff, but she prefers dresses and skirts. Or nightgowns (which we've explained she doesn't get to wear when we leave the house). She loves necklaces and bracelets, and getting all dressed up with her baby dolls so she can climb into her spaceship (highchair) and go shopping for hats in space. She nurses her babies. If she sees her T-Rex costume from last year (still fits) she will BEG to wear it, because she wants to be a fierce dinosaur. Her favorite bath towel is a triceratops hooded towel (which is truly awesome). She and her brother play Lego (or Duplos) together. Sometimes she declares that she's a princess and cooks us food, but it's usually only a ruse so she can eat our faces. 

This ferocious, brave, sweet, sassy child is growing into a world where someone sells these boots for toddlers. I would wear them, but I would never let my young child wear them.

 

http://www.zulily.com/p/gray-auto-bootie-42835-4791009.html?pos=44&e=1

Girls are told (maybe not out loud but sure as hell by the toy section) that they are only good for being cute and sexy and sweet. You have to work to find a toy that isn't super-gendered if your daughter wants a Lego set. Duplos are pretty good, but what about when your daughter is older? Does she have to play with Lego Friends, where the figurines look like bizarre alien versions of regular Lego figurines, and they sit in hot tubs or on yachts? Why can't Wonder Woman or Batgirl or Storm or Hermione be part of the "girl" toy section? Or available with their OWN sets? Why can they only be found with the huge sets, while you can find Superman with his own smaller Lego set? And forget about race cars (like Hotwheels) that could be marketed to girls...

Why do Monster High and Bratz and Equestria Girls have to be what our daughters look at? I know I never wanted to look like Barbie, but my Barbie had clothes that actually covered her body rather than barely-thigh length skirts and knee-high stockings.

Why do these dolls have to be so skeletally thin? I know that most girls don't say "Oh, I want to be thin like my dolls" but they don't even look healthy... And WTF is up with their short little arms?! All I know is that I will NOT be buying Dee any of these dolls. If she gets one for a gift it will be going back to the store.

My daughter will not fall prey to the idea that she's only a pretty face, or only gets to do science that creates makeup just because she's a girl. She will be climbing rocks and mountains and exploring space and digging up dinosaurs and being her own person.  I will not buy her the clothing or shoes that scream "grow up and have sex already!" or "Look at me, I like to shop and manipulate my daddy. Tee hee". I will remind her how amazing she is, and how strong and beautiful and wonderful her body is and I will do my best to make sure she knows that she is worth more than the marketing world wants her to think. She's better than that.

That's it for now... I have a rant brewing about boy stereotypes too. In the meantime, if you think you'd like to know more about what we *as parents* can do to help combat this insanity for our children's sake, please visit http://blog.pigtailpals.com/ and http://www.amightygirl.com/. And make sure your child knows how very, very amazing he or she is, no matter what they toy aisle tries to tell them.

ETA: A Mighty Girl also has a parenting books section, including books on how to deal with the sexualization of childhood.

Book Review: "Oh Crap! Potty Training" By Jamie Glowacki

Oh Crap! Potty Training by Jamie Glowacki

My rating: 5 of 5 stars


There are so many things to say about this book. First of all, I wish I had read it when my son was potty training at age 3 (or, actually, before that, but whatever). He wasn't hard to train but because we waited so long it took forever (like months). With my daughter? She's 27 months old, and is completely, 100% day and night potty trained. It took less than a month.

Anyway, enough about my kids. Jamie lays out the facts for you. She goes in-depth into the basic blocks of readiness about going to the bathroom (from "clueless that it's happening" to "hm, something happened" to "uh, I did something" to "oh, hey, I need to pee/poop"). She addresses the steps to assessing your own child's "readiness" and how to go about it. While she does have some steps that I disagree with (like no underwear at all for a week or two) she encourages every parent to tweak her protocol to fit their child. She discourages rewards, but acknowledges that they are fine if you want to use them. There are chapters devoted to poop, to EC, to special circumstances. She even tells you how to defeat the dreaded bedtime "I have to pee six million times" stalling tactic (which frankly, I desperately needed!).

Every parent looking to potty train should read this book. It is a little hard to track down because you have to buy it through the author's website, but maybe if enough people buy it then it will become more readily available.

***


I did win this book though a giveaway on Erica's blog a while back. You should check her out, she is awesomesauce. 

Also, for more information about Ms. Glowacki's book, check out her website.