Babies and Maybes and Bears, Oh My!

You'd think that most of the women in my family were of childbearing age or something, but there seems to be a rash of babies over the last few years. Specifically the last 2...My sister N had her second baby in June 2007, J was born in January of 2008, then my sister M had her son in March of 2008. Now N is pregnant again, with twins. I strongly suspect that my newest sister-in-law, D, is pregnant but she is being understandably secretive about it if she is pregnant (see the Unfairness post below). However, given that she is not drinking coffee or alcohol, and her husband said something to the effect of "Yeah, she's not drinking but I'm not allowed to say why..." is a pretty good indication. May they (and any other ladies who jump on the baby train in the next couple months) have happy, easy, and healthy pregnancies and deliveries in the coming year!

As for bears, well...J likes his teddy bear. That's about it.

That Bittersweet Ache

I am sitting here watching J drink down a couple ounces of goat's milk with no breastmilk added. My throat tightens, I feel a deep pulling ache in my core as I watch my baby guzzle down milk that did not come from me without a problem. This ache also brings a sense of relief that if I can't pump enough milk, he'll drink goat's milk without a complaint. He's old enough that we are starting to transition him to goat milk anyway, so that after he turns one he will only be getting breastmilk from nursing when I'm home. I will be able to stop pumping in 13 work days, and J will be fine. He'll make the transition just fine. He'll keep growing and learning and soon he'll be cruising around and then he'll walk. Someday I will put him on a schoolbus, someday I will watch him graduate. I may see him get married one day.

I will treasure that bittersweet ache that I feel at every new milestone.

Eulogy

Neith has gone home. Tonight I took the hound out at about 6:00, in the wild, cold and blowing snow and saw Neith slowly making her way from her little corner. I watched as she painstakingly started to make her way down the wall of the porch. An hour later, I took the hound out again (yes, he pees a lot) and Neith had finally made it to the ground. I watched as she determinedly pulled herself into a small pile of snow. I took the dogs out again about5 minutes ago, and Neith is gone, completely entombed.

She never laid any eggs, and C and I were honestly surprised she survived this long with all the freezes we've had, and she hasn't had any food in many days if not a couple weeks. I am grateful to the service she provided in removing the insects from our vicinity, and to the help she provided in my overcoming arachnophobia. I am no longer afraid of that particular spider, and I am sorry she did not get to pass her genetic material on to another generation.

Goodbye, Neith.

26 Things.

Inspired by Cyndi.

Adored: my husband and son are, by me

Beagle-y: how MacGuyver's bed smells

Christmas: so very excited for J's first

Dippy: my other dog, Athena, who has gotten out again

Elegant: what I want to be when I grow up

Frail: my grandmother

Gross: sputum

Hilarious: RoboSapien on RoboRaptor on other Robo Dinosaur action

Ignorant: people who really really irritate me

Jazz: C's beautiful music

Kangaroos: on the wall in J's room, make him smile when he "says" goodnight to them

Literature: I should read more of this

Mother: I am, my mother is, my grandmother is, my great-grandmother was...

Nut: hazelnuts + chocolate = soooo yummy

Open: what I try to be with C, and he tries to be with me

Prescience: would it actually be nice to have this ability?

Quilting: I love this, I should try to devote some time to it again

Running: escape, burning off energy, freedom

Sing: I love when C does this, even/especially his goofy lip-synching.

Turtle: ate the frogs. I swear!

Umbrella: only the non-natives use them in Seattle

Varicella: itchy, couldn't go to a birthday party when I had one spot in my ear that hadn't scabbed over yet

Water: my plants probably need some of this

Xerox: the machine at work is squeaky

Zebra: differences in pronunciation are amusing.

Watcher at the Window

I was looking at some of J's little baby pictures (I know, he's still a baby; 10.5 months and 21 pounds of baby, but a baby) and realized with a bittersweet ache how much he's grown. Every day he becomes more like a toddler baby than an infant. One of his favorite activities is to stand in front of the window and look out. Of course, that involves C or me placing J in a standing position, but once there, he grasps the windowsill with his little chubby hands, stands up on his tippy toes, and strains to look out the window, since the windowsill is about level with his nose. He will spend as long doing this as we are willing to spot him for, until his legs get tired. He had never really showed any great interest in standing until fairly recently, so while most babies will stand with help from a few days/weeks old, J would not. He would tuck his legs up and just laugh. Occasionally he would indulge us by standing for about a second on both legs before tucking up his feet, but that was all we'd get. We never got him a jumperoo or anything (*gasp*) so he's got some strengthening to do of his legs.
When his legs get tired, he prefers to be held up to the window, where he can press his little palms against the glass, and rest his face on his hands, and just gaze out the window. I wish we had a windowseat, that would make this much easier on my arms. His keen interest in observation, and his stubborn desire to keep looking out the window at the tree and the grass and the cable box are just markers of his blooming personality. He's really turning into a little person, reflecting Mommy's desire to study the world and Daddy's stubborn insistence that he do things just so.

A Happy Goat

This seems to be the world's happiest goat. Click the picture to get to the blog from whence it came. Happy Thursday!

Things I Miss, and Don't, About Being Pregnant

I know that I am getting closer to ready for baby number 2, since the thought of being pregnant, and morning sickness, and a risky delivery no longer scare the bejeezus out of me. I do still worry about my next delivery, wondering if I will have the massive hemorrhage that I did with J, but hope that the placental abruption was a one time thing.

Things I miss are feeling those first little kicks and jumps, and then the later rolls. Seeing the heartbeat, and my baby, on an ultrasound for the first time. Watching my belly grow, and making fun of my freaky belly button which never even flattened out, just got really small like a teensy star. Feeling the kicks from the outside, playing with him during meetings and talks. Knowing that I was going to have a baby after so many years of longing but waiting. Hearing the heartbeat on the doppler. Being spoiled rotten by my husband.

I do not miss the morning sickness (all day nausea, daily puking), meat aversion for 18 weeks. Having to sleep elevated, on my back, for the first 15 weeks so I wouldn't gag. The lack of sex drive. I do not miss my boobs getting ridiculously big (started out as Ds, went up to Fs, then after my milk had settled they were Gs. They still haven't gotten back to a D). I do not miss the stupid comments from strangers at work. Gestational diabetes. Contractions 5 minutes apart regularly from 33 weeks onward. Sciatica. Being uncomfortable for the last 5 weeks. Having to pee all the frickin' time. Hormones running amock. Heartburn.

I hope I will be ready to have a second child in another couple years. I think I will. I'm actually starting to get excited about it...

Updates and Randomness

The spiders are both still alive, and since we've only had one freeze they don't seem to be suffering for want of food. Neith has not laid any eggs, so I don't know if/when she will but I will be keeping an eye out to have an idea of her remaining life.

J has learned how to pull himself up to his knees, and sometimes will stand up (supported, of course) for a few seconds until his legs get tired, but he is definitely showing an interest in it! He is also a champ at sitting up from crawling around. It's amazing to me how much more toddler-like he is becoming, and how much less baby-like. He has fortunately not lost any interest in breastfeeding (yay!) so it looks like we can continue to nurse for at least a year. I am, however, counting down to when I can quit pumping (<2 months!) when he turns one.

C and I had a date on Friday (#12). We went out for coffee at this cool local place that we usually like, that has live music on Friday nights. Their coffee was not very good, the service sucked, and it was so loud we could hardly have a conversation. I overall enjoyed myself, but C didn't have that great of a time, unfortunately. Well, at least we went out and spent time together without the baby! That counts for something, right?

We are going down to see C's parents on Thursday to get our Christmas card pictures taken, which I normally would wait on since I do respect the turkey but Snapfish is having this great deal on holiday cards that I just cannot pass up! (Enter CARD08 at checkout, get your first set of 20 4x8 photo cards for a penny each! Good through Nov 23.) So naturally, that entails figuring out what C and J will wear, since I already know what I am going to wear. I think we will have to go consignment store hopping and find J something cute since I will not pay $20 for an outfit that he will wear once.

Do Spiders Hibernate?

Sweet Neith (dear god, did I just call a spider sweet?!) lives in a reasonably unsheltered corner of our porch. It is very cold here tonight, and I am a little concerned that she will perish. Bud at least has siding to hide under, Neith wouldn't fit any more than a few legs under the siding. She is currently huddled up in a pathetic little blob in the corner (in the picture below, she is the little blobby thing; sorry for the craptacular picture quality). I hope she survives the night, and then when it warms up tomorrow she will find a place to hibernate. Do spiders hibernate?
Ok...following a quick Google search, it seems that Neith and other spiders of her ilk (orb spiders and some others) do not, in fact, hibernate. They live for one year, lay their egg sac, and die during the winter. Sad.

On a related note, tarantulas do hibernate, and some females have been found to live 30-40 years! I think that Bud may be of a hibernating variety as well, but since I am still not sure what kind of spider he is, I don't actually know that.

Accomplishments!

Yay for getting things done! I have found a psychiatrist (#21), AND closed one of our credit accounts (#20). Woot! Go me! Plus, I am now about 1/4 of the way done with my list.