Tuesday, October 6, 2009


It seems that the mid-cycle nightmares are back.

Night before last it was pink and purple mice spreading some sort of flu-related plague where basically people became zombie-like with horrible lesions all over their skin, and the "cure" was fire. The mice were really sweet and nice, so everyone wanted to pet them, which is what made the disease spread. So lots of burning of my friends. Then we (humanity?) figured out an actual prophylactic measure that was basically bathing in an acidic solution of some sort. Lovely. But at least it kept us from dying off in horribly painful ways.

Last night I dreamed I was 30 weeks pregnant with my second son and I went into early labor and delivered him at my parents' house. He died. I spent the whole dream crying and screaming and raging because I hadn't gotten to hold him and nobody kept any pictures of him. My mom had taken some (of other people like C and some random woman holding his little body) but deleted them because "she knew he was going to be dead so she needed to delete them."They buried him without ever letting me meet my dead son.

There's some fucked up stuff going on in my head at night. Fun, eh?

1 comment:

Caeseria said...

That second dream would be so disturbing. I once had a dream of finding a baby girl - actual, live, infant girl, but very small (preemie size) - in a shoebox in our closet. I actually went off the Ortho patch, because I was convinced we were pregnant but it was WAY too early in the cycle to test, and if you think you're pregnant you have to stop birth control. So we went off the patch, and waited, and two weeks later I was bleeding. I called the doctor very distraught, explained the whole thing, and was told it was EITHER because I'd taken off the patch only a week in to my cycle, OR I was miscarrying. Fortunately it turned out to be far less blood than a miscarriage would have been, and a blood test revealed I'd not been pregnant at all. Just a weird dream. At first I was just sooo thankful that it wasn't a miscarriage, then I was sad because I also hadn't been pregnant. Then I would be happy again because I hadn't been pregnant and lost the baby, then said again that I'd not been pregnant in the first place. It was a really messed-up month, all because of that dream.