Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Panic Attack

The tickle begins deep inside, against my spine. Slowly, it spreads is arms and wings and legs, the many, many legs, and stretches luxuriantly. My breathing has to become shallow and quick like a rabbit's, or I will scream. My stomach clenches and I want to vomit but do not feel nauseous. My heart can't decide whether to pound or to flutter. The urge to scream grows as the tickle overtakes my core. I want to run, I want to hide but I want to shriek and cry and yell and ask the world why it is changing from what it was yesterday. I want something to take away the edge and make me focus away from this horrid itching inside.

For the love of my sanity, Stop.

ETA: It turns out that laying down in the dark and meditating on the states of various body parts for 20 minutes is very calming. No more impending panic, but now I am feeling very subdued. I'll take subdued over panicking any day.

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