So, while I was home from work today, I read Remember Me by Sophie Kinsella. I love that book.
Also, Contagious arrived for me at the library! Yay! I will start reading where the podcast left off, probably tomorrow.
Thursday, March 12, 2009
I Love Vicodin
This is so trippy. I can see why my brother thought everything was funny after his appendectomy when he was on Vicodin. But hey, my back doesn't hurt! Wahoo! Plus, it's listed as moderately safe for breastfeeding, so I can even nurse J at bedtime tonight.
I am going to go do something now. I don't remember what, but something. Maybe play on Facebook.
I am going to go do something now. I don't remember what, but something. Maybe play on Facebook.
The Dangers of Grocery Shopping
I managed to seriously hurt my back while shopping for groceries this morning. I just noticed about halfway through the trip that my back was starting to hurt, and by the time I got home I was almost in tears from the pain. I called in sick to work, called my stepdad (he's a chiropractor, and will henceforth be referred to as SD) who is currently working out of the house as his office is moving. 30 minutes of work later and I felt somewhat better. C drove me back home where I've been sitting on the couch, alternating hot and cold on my back for the last few hours. I still can't twist at all to either side and I am really contemplating taking advantage of working with a number of MDs...*sigh* What's the fun in a sick day when you're in too much pain to do anything?! I really hope I feel better tomorrow, since I have 3 things that I have to take care of tomorrow at work. Ugh. Stupid back. Who the heck hurts themselves GROCERY SHOPPING?! I wasn't even buying anything remotely heavy! And I don't remember any moments of "hey, wow, that hurt..."
In other news, J now says "Look!" Of course, it comes out more as "Yook" but it's so damn cute I won't complain. He also is really into dogs today- pointing at them, saying dog, and waving hello. Neice Kaitlyn gave J a little Pooh Bear yesterday because she just had to give him one of her toys, and he's been hugging it and carrying it (well, dragging it...) around with him since he got it home. He really likes that bear!
Now, off to find a number for one of my Dr. friends...
In other news, J now says "Look!" Of course, it comes out more as "Yook" but it's so damn cute I won't complain. He also is really into dogs today- pointing at them, saying dog, and waving hello. Neice Kaitlyn gave J a little Pooh Bear yesterday because she just had to give him one of her toys, and he's been hugging it and carrying it (well, dragging it...) around with him since he got it home. He really likes that bear!
Now, off to find a number for one of my Dr. friends...
Sunday, March 8, 2009
Things That Make You Go "Huh?"
DISCLAIMER: Generally, I try to keep my highly controversial rants off of my blog. I'd rather get it out in person. Sometimes, however, writing is just a more effective way to go. So consider yourselves warned: this post is going to contain some controversial stuff.
There is a blog that I periodically read (It's in my blog list, but I'll let you figure out which one) that I react to in one of two ways. First, I like the blog a lot, and sometimes find things that she says very fascinating and something to think about, or something I agree with completely (for instance, her stand on mysandry). Then there are the moments where she goes from being a rational person to saying things like that contraception is a perpetuation of the culture of death, praise the Lord. At those moments, I can't help but think "HUH?!" as this clearly intelligent, thinking individual apparently goes off the deep end.
I get that people are entitled to their opinions, but sometimes those opinions are a little mind boggling to me. I find it interesting that I can have however many views in common with someone, but then they can say something that totally blows my mind and makes me question their sanity. Of course, I am sure I have opinions that do the same for other people. This train of thought reminds me somewhat of my sociology class at in college. The professor was hilarious but he definitely brought out a variety of viewpoints in our discussions.
On Private Practice this week (I love that show), an interesting dilemma arose. The practice added a doctor who performed abortions, and the other MDs involved either sided with her, or got in a tizzy. One of the ones who was completely anti-abortion (I like this better than pro-life, which implies that those of us that are pro-choice are anti-life) was the reproductive specialist. She went on about how she fertilizes eggs every day, therefore making babies, and that because of that she is completely against abortion. This, to me, is an incongruous thought process. First of all, from a purely scientific point of view, a fertilized egg is not necessarily capable of becoming a human being. There is no guarantee that it will implant, if fertilization were to take place in vivo (inside a uterus), and the possibility of early miscarriage (or chemical pregnancy, within 2 weeks of implantation) is fairly high. Secondly, when IVF is involved, there is no guarantee that the fertilized egg will even make it to an implantable embryo (ideally, at the 6-8 cell stage). Does this mean, then, that this doctor would become horribly depressed every time one of the embryos stopped developing? Would this indicate to her that a baby has died? I have a very hard time thinking so. This is also why I am VERY glad that Amendment 48 did not pass.
This is not to say that I am all in favor of abortion. I would never have one, unless perhaps I found out that my baby was anencephalic. Short of that, I would likely carry my pregnancy to term. I am simply not going to tell someone else to keep an unwanted child. I would be heartbroken for the person choosing abortion, simply because I know that it would be a devastating choice to make. I have known people who have had abortions, people very dear to me. I don't judge them for it, I only wish there was a way that I could somehow ameliorate the pain associated with it. My older brother, T, once told me that my not stopping someone from having an abortion is equivalent to my not stopping a murder. Um, no. It's really not quite the same thing. For one thing, abortion is not the murder of a person that has it's own identity and life, and the capability of sustaining that life. A fetus or embryo may have basic biological functions, but before 24 weeks (the generally accepted age of viability) it has absolutely no chance of survival outside the uterus. I would take issue with abortions done later than that, and absolutely take issue with the idea of infanticide, but before the age of viability I will not tell someone else what to do.
I do not feel right telling someone that she should not abort her embryo/fetus because I do not know the circumstances surrounding that choice. Yes, there are people out there who just have abortions because they don't use birth control, but that is a highly irresponsible way to go about it. Why would you put your body through that? Why would you want to go through the emotional hell of deciding whether to "get rid of it" or not? Wouldn't it be easier and less painful to buy a box of condoms, or birth control pills?
My sister, A (eventually I am going to post a diagram of my horribly complicated family...) recently had a role in a film where she played a young woman that slept around, then would track the guys down and claim she was pregnant and needed money for an abortion. I find this amusing given that for the first 24 years of her life, my sister was the least sexual person I knew. She now has a boyfriend, which is comforting, as I was starting to wonder if she'd ever find someone for a companion. I didn't care if she had a girlfriend or a boyfriend, just someone to spend her lonely times with.
While the presidential campaign was ongoing, I read an article about Sarah Palin's family. The article primarily focused on her youngest son, Trig, and their decision not to abort after finding out that he had Down Syndrome. The article mentioned that something like 94% of all Down Syndrome children are aborted because of the chromosomal anomaly. I have recently been hearing talk about people following the same trend for autistic children, when a genetic screen becomes available for that disease, too. I guess it's better to not have a child that you won't be able to care for, but this is very sad to me. If you are going to end your pregnancy, I don't think that aborting a child that was wanted until you found out that it was "broken" in some way is the way to go. People with Autism and Down Syndrome can lead fulfilling and high-functioning lives. Giving up before you even give them a chance to show you what they can do seems wrong, to me. I suppose, by that logic, terminating any pregnancy should also seem wrong, but it's all in the reason. If you didn't want a child and are not in a position where it would be remotely fair to bring a child into the world, or something like that, then fine. Make your choice. But if you want a child, and tried to conceive a child, and then terminate because the baby is not genetically perfect even though it could live a full and happy life? You'd better think long and hard about that one.
While I was pregnant, C and I discussed what we'd do if we'd found out that J had Down Syndrome. We decided that we would not terminate for Down Syndrome. We would not terminate unless the baby had anencephaly (which we already knew was not the case due to earlier ultrasounds), or Trisomy 13 or 18, all of which are incompatible with life or produce very severe problems, preventing a good quality of life. Knowing now how hard my pregnany and delivery was on me, I still feel that way. I would not put myself through that knowing that there wasn't going to be a healthy baby at the end.
There is a blog that I periodically read (It's in my blog list, but I'll let you figure out which one) that I react to in one of two ways. First, I like the blog a lot, and sometimes find things that she says very fascinating and something to think about, or something I agree with completely (for instance, her stand on mysandry). Then there are the moments where she goes from being a rational person to saying things like that contraception is a perpetuation of the culture of death, praise the Lord. At those moments, I can't help but think "HUH?!" as this clearly intelligent, thinking individual apparently goes off the deep end.
I get that people are entitled to their opinions, but sometimes those opinions are a little mind boggling to me. I find it interesting that I can have however many views in common with someone, but then they can say something that totally blows my mind and makes me question their sanity. Of course, I am sure I have opinions that do the same for other people. This train of thought reminds me somewhat of my sociology class at in college. The professor was hilarious but he definitely brought out a variety of viewpoints in our discussions.
On Private Practice this week (I love that show), an interesting dilemma arose. The practice added a doctor who performed abortions, and the other MDs involved either sided with her, or got in a tizzy. One of the ones who was completely anti-abortion (I like this better than pro-life, which implies that those of us that are pro-choice are anti-life) was the reproductive specialist. She went on about how she fertilizes eggs every day, therefore making babies, and that because of that she is completely against abortion. This, to me, is an incongruous thought process. First of all, from a purely scientific point of view, a fertilized egg is not necessarily capable of becoming a human being. There is no guarantee that it will implant, if fertilization were to take place in vivo (inside a uterus), and the possibility of early miscarriage (or chemical pregnancy, within 2 weeks of implantation) is fairly high. Secondly, when IVF is involved, there is no guarantee that the fertilized egg will even make it to an implantable embryo (ideally, at the 6-8 cell stage). Does this mean, then, that this doctor would become horribly depressed every time one of the embryos stopped developing? Would this indicate to her that a baby has died? I have a very hard time thinking so. This is also why I am VERY glad that Amendment 48 did not pass.
This is not to say that I am all in favor of abortion. I would never have one, unless perhaps I found out that my baby was anencephalic. Short of that, I would likely carry my pregnancy to term. I am simply not going to tell someone else to keep an unwanted child. I would be heartbroken for the person choosing abortion, simply because I know that it would be a devastating choice to make. I have known people who have had abortions, people very dear to me. I don't judge them for it, I only wish there was a way that I could somehow ameliorate the pain associated with it. My older brother, T, once told me that my not stopping someone from having an abortion is equivalent to my not stopping a murder. Um, no. It's really not quite the same thing. For one thing, abortion is not the murder of a person that has it's own identity and life, and the capability of sustaining that life. A fetus or embryo may have basic biological functions, but before 24 weeks (the generally accepted age of viability) it has absolutely no chance of survival outside the uterus. I would take issue with abortions done later than that, and absolutely take issue with the idea of infanticide, but before the age of viability I will not tell someone else what to do.
I do not feel right telling someone that she should not abort her embryo/fetus because I do not know the circumstances surrounding that choice. Yes, there are people out there who just have abortions because they don't use birth control, but that is a highly irresponsible way to go about it. Why would you put your body through that? Why would you want to go through the emotional hell of deciding whether to "get rid of it" or not? Wouldn't it be easier and less painful to buy a box of condoms, or birth control pills?
My sister, A (eventually I am going to post a diagram of my horribly complicated family...) recently had a role in a film where she played a young woman that slept around, then would track the guys down and claim she was pregnant and needed money for an abortion. I find this amusing given that for the first 24 years of her life, my sister was the least sexual person I knew. She now has a boyfriend, which is comforting, as I was starting to wonder if she'd ever find someone for a companion. I didn't care if she had a girlfriend or a boyfriend, just someone to spend her lonely times with.
While the presidential campaign was ongoing, I read an article about Sarah Palin's family. The article primarily focused on her youngest son, Trig, and their decision not to abort after finding out that he had Down Syndrome. The article mentioned that something like 94% of all Down Syndrome children are aborted because of the chromosomal anomaly. I have recently been hearing talk about people following the same trend for autistic children, when a genetic screen becomes available for that disease, too. I guess it's better to not have a child that you won't be able to care for, but this is very sad to me. If you are going to end your pregnancy, I don't think that aborting a child that was wanted until you found out that it was "broken" in some way is the way to go. People with Autism and Down Syndrome can lead fulfilling and high-functioning lives. Giving up before you even give them a chance to show you what they can do seems wrong, to me. I suppose, by that logic, terminating any pregnancy should also seem wrong, but it's all in the reason. If you didn't want a child and are not in a position where it would be remotely fair to bring a child into the world, or something like that, then fine. Make your choice. But if you want a child, and tried to conceive a child, and then terminate because the baby is not genetically perfect even though it could live a full and happy life? You'd better think long and hard about that one.
While I was pregnant, C and I discussed what we'd do if we'd found out that J had Down Syndrome. We decided that we would not terminate for Down Syndrome. We would not terminate unless the baby had anencephaly (which we already knew was not the case due to earlier ultrasounds), or Trisomy 13 or 18, all of which are incompatible with life or produce very severe problems, preventing a good quality of life. Knowing now how hard my pregnany and delivery was on me, I still feel that way. I would not put myself through that knowing that there wasn't going to be a healthy baby at the end.
Friday, March 6, 2009
Grateful
I am so grateful that I have a healthy family. My son is growing and normal and healthy. My husband is supportive and handsome and talented, and also healthy. Our dogs are crazy, but neither seems ready to depart this world quite yet. My pregnancy was awful, but it was successful. I had morning sickness for 15ish weeks, but I didn't have hyperemesis. I had gestational diabetes but didn't have to take insulin. I had preterm labor but didn't have to be on bedrest. I was in early labor (contractions every 5-10 minutes constantly) for 2 weeks before my son was born, and I had an episode of bleeding that I am fairly certain was the result of a partial placental abruption, but my baby didn't die. I had 2 failed epidurals when the time finally came, and pushed for 2 1/2 hours, but didn't have to have a C-section. I lost about 1.5 liters of blood (roughly 1/4 of my blood) during labor and delivery (also supporting my theory of abruption), but I didn't need a transfusion or a hysterectomy, and I didn't die. My son didn't die.
I have not lost a baby, and I desperately hope I never do. My sister has lost a baby, and my sister-in-law has lost more than one. I hope that neither loses another, and I wish there was a way to ensure that no-one would ever experience the pain of loss.
I am grateful, Universe, for what I have, and what I have not, experienced. I am grateful for my life and the lives of my family members, those born, those yet-to-be-born, and those who've already gone home. I am grateful that I have had such a positive breastfeeding experience. I am grateful for my marriage and my husband, without whom I don't know where I would be. I doubt I would be in as good a place as I am now. I am grateful and humbled to be the mother of the happiest boy in the world.
I have not lost a baby, and I desperately hope I never do. My sister has lost a baby, and my sister-in-law has lost more than one. I hope that neither loses another, and I wish there was a way to ensure that no-one would ever experience the pain of loss.
I am grateful, Universe, for what I have, and what I have not, experienced. I am grateful for my life and the lives of my family members, those born, those yet-to-be-born, and those who've already gone home. I am grateful that I have had such a positive breastfeeding experience. I am grateful for my marriage and my husband, without whom I don't know where I would be. I doubt I would be in as good a place as I am now. I am grateful and humbled to be the mother of the happiest boy in the world.
Thursday, March 5, 2009
I Hate My Coworkers Sometimes
I hate my coworkers sometimes. I'm not sure I've made that clear enough here, but sometimes they really piss me off.
My Suburban Garden
I started seeds for my container garden last weekend, and most of them have germinated! I have a container garden on our front patio, which is east facing. It's not ideal, but with the tips I've gotten from Bountiful Container (C got it for me for Christmas, and I LOVE it!) and what I learned last year, I am confident that my garden will be quite nice. So far my tomatoes are all growing well (2 kinds of cherry tomatoes and early girls), and a couple of my yellow peppers are working on sprouting. I am also going to try growing several kinds of basil, just because I never seem to have luck with it but maybe comparing the 3 kinds I have will give me some insight. The basil has all sprouted, as has one or two of the parsley plants. My sage is not yet sprouted...I may try that one again. The chives my mom gave us as transplants last year are already coming up again in my huge container, so I don't have to plant them from seeds. I didn't realize they would do that, but it's neat! I may move them to a new container along with some other things now that I know they're so hardy, but we'll see.
I am also going to do another zucchini, but just one mound this year. Last year I planted two but only one plant ever produced female flowers (that bear fruit). We got just enough for our family from it though, not too much at all. I need to find innoculant for the peas and beans I want to grow, so I'm going to have to check the nursery near our house. Maybe we can all walk over this weekend, if this weather holds up. Or even as long as it isn't snowing or raining.
My other plans include growing Thumbelina carrots and radishes, probably mixed together since the Bountiful Container recommends that. I may attempt big carrots again, but I am not really too enthused about that idea at present. I had great success with the Thumbelinas when we lived in WA. Well, until the hound discovered them and ate them all. Yes, our hound eats carrots. He also picks blackberries. But I digress...
My roses may or may not have survived the winter. I left one in the pot on the patio, and planted the other. C said it looked like the one in the ground had new growth and the other did not. I am going to try to water them both a bit (since the weather has been so warm I think they may be coming out of "hibernation" and be thirsty) and just see what happens. If either or both died, it's really no big deal. I got them at Big Lots for like $3 each two years ago. I can always try to grow new ones.
I also just want to quickly show off my nifty new garden tools. I got them through Lee Valley (also where the pic came from), and boy were they cheap! But they're sturdy and ideal for container gardening.
I am also going to do another zucchini, but just one mound this year. Last year I planted two but only one plant ever produced female flowers (that bear fruit). We got just enough for our family from it though, not too much at all. I need to find innoculant for the peas and beans I want to grow, so I'm going to have to check the nursery near our house. Maybe we can all walk over this weekend, if this weather holds up. Or even as long as it isn't snowing or raining.
My other plans include growing Thumbelina carrots and radishes, probably mixed together since the Bountiful Container recommends that. I may attempt big carrots again, but I am not really too enthused about that idea at present. I had great success with the Thumbelinas when we lived in WA. Well, until the hound discovered them and ate them all. Yes, our hound eats carrots. He also picks blackberries. But I digress...
My roses may or may not have survived the winter. I left one in the pot on the patio, and planted the other. C said it looked like the one in the ground had new growth and the other did not. I am going to try to water them both a bit (since the weather has been so warm I think they may be coming out of "hibernation" and be thirsty) and just see what happens. If either or both died, it's really no big deal. I got them at Big Lots for like $3 each two years ago. I can always try to grow new ones.
I also just want to quickly show off my nifty new garden tools. I got them through Lee Valley (also where the pic came from), and boy were they cheap! But they're sturdy and ideal for container gardening.
Wednesday, March 4, 2009
Random Moment of Nostalgia
I heard "Buffalo Soldier" on the radio yesterday. J used to kick a lot when that song was on. He really seemed to like Bob Marley in utero. He still likes it, I think, since he sings along. Anyway, nostalgia and melancholy washed over me in this huge wave as I remembered his little kicks and bumps and everything in my belly.
T-Shirt Quilt
I had this great idea to use all those novelty T-shirts that I've gotten over the years to make a quilt. Not just any quilt, but a quilt that will come along on road trips to keep us cozy around the campfire, or in the car. I have a shirt my dad made me when I was 15 (he made one for each of us) that has pictures on the front and back of us completing our "National Treasures Tour." That trip, he taught me how to drive...there was an incident with purple flowers at Craters of the Moon that I'd rather not discuss. We visited Yellowstone, Craters of the Moon, Westport, WA, and pretty much every major (and some more minor) natural treasure between Colorado and the Washington coast. That shirt will definitely be a part of this quilt. So will the one I have from band camp the summer I met C. I have one from the Point Defiance Zoo in Tacoma, one from Seattle, and I have one from San Francisco. All of these will be part of the quilt, and I will leave blank squares for the addition of shirts purchased on later family trips.
Sunday, March 1, 2009
Prayers/Happy Thoughts Needed
My SIL D lost another baby. I knew they were trying again, but I didn't know until tonight that they'd had any success. This one she lost almost as soon as she found out. My heart is breaking for her. I can't imagine losing a baby, let alone two. I feel even worse because I'd just blathered on about my sister N getting pg with her twins kind of by accident... I feel like such an ass! D seemed to perk up when I mentioned that my sister is 42, she said something about there being hope then, but I had no idea at that time about her own baby. She has a daughter from a previous relationship, who is absolutely adorable and a great kid, but I think that makes it harder on her now, wondering why she could get pregnant the first time but now she is having problems. I'm sure it also doesn't help that SIL G is pregnant with her second one now. I so hope D gets a "sticky" (as they say on the Nest) baby soon. If you could just please send some positive vibes her way, in whatever form you feel is right, I'm sure they would appreciate it. I wish I could help somehow, but I don't know if I am supposed to know at all about this second loss...MIL said that D had just told her about it around Valentine's day, maybe with the intent that MIL would use her discretion to spread the word. Poor D. It's got to be so hard.
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