Wednesday, July 31, 2013

A Rant on the American Diet vs Real Food and Why This Bugs Me

Whenever I go on Pinterest (which is very awesome if you have a particular project/goal in mind, and otherwise will just suck you into a vortex), I see lots of things about fitness and losing weight and losing fat and so on. (On a side note, LOVE YOUR BODY AS IT IS. It will make you a much happier person in the long run. Not to say you shouldn't try to be healthy, but love your body just the same.) On those same pages, I see recipes full of shit. Cupcakes with Twinkies on top. Things full of sugar and processed ingredients. Do people not see the connection?!


I recently read a book called Fat Chance by Dr. Robert Lustig. The book was amazing for many reasons, but it primarily dealt with why (globally) people are getting fat, and why the abdominal fat we have is so very bad. You can read my review here on Goodreads, but it isn't very long. Essentially, everyone is binging on fructose so they don't raise their blood sugar. Sounds good, right? NO. Because fructose (straight fructose like in fruit juice, HFCS and agave nectar, not when you get it from fruit directly) is metabolized by your liver as fat. Visceral fat. The fat that clings to your organs and sucks away your life. Exercise helps, but diet does too. And trying to get rid of cutaneous fat may be a laudable goal, but if you don't do a damn thing about your diet you aren't making yourself any healthier. So yes, you can be overweight/obese, have low visceral fat, and be healthier than someone with low cutaneous fat who eats crap all day and has hidden visceral fat choking their insides.

We have been trying to eat more "real" food; more fruit and veggies, fewer processed foods (not that we do a whole lot of that anyway). It's going slowly but we are doing pretty well. It helps that it's summer and the farmer's market is open, but even in winter we have so many options for real food, real fruit and vegetables, raw ingredients to make bread and "real" food. Yes, we use butter. Yes, we use lard. Yes, we buy real cream and real sugar. Want to know what we don't buy (or buy it less than twice a year)?

Fruit snacks. Soda. Processed cheese (Velveeta/American). Margarine. Junk cereal (Trix, Cocoa Puffs, etc). White bread. Packaged cookies. Chips. Macaroni and cheese.

This, unfortunately (or not) means that many coupons I could clip and use go unclipped simply because we don't buy or eat the foods they are for. Fine with me, I don't need to spend the money simply to save a few cents on crap.

However... of course there's a however. Things we *do* buy that aren't particularly good for us:

Fruit juice (one container per week or less). Danimals Smoothies (ugh, gross, but the kids LOVE them and only get one per day). Cereal. Goldfish crackers. Frozen pizza (working on eliminating this entirely, but usually this is a once a month to every-other-week thing).

My kids LOVE their veggies. And fruit (just ask Dee about her "sawbees" (strawberries)). J has been known to steal broccoli from other people's plates. Corn on the cob is a huge hit. Obviously that's just a summer thing, but other veggies can be found year-round at your local grocery store. For most of the country, that's an accessible thing! I know there are places where grocery stores don't exist (another rant for another day) but in the vast majority of this country that isn't an issue. The biggest problem comes from when people on a budget (hello, most Americans) are trying to do the grocery shopping for as little as they can. Unfortunately, produce is often overlooked in favor of cheaper fare (especially organic produce). Instead of rice and beans (which is nutritious, filling, and about as cheap as it gets), people frequently go for the junk food that they have coupons for, and grocery stores often put specials on those items as well. Why buy milk at $3 a gallon when you can buy four 2-liter bottles of soda for less than $3 after the sale and coupons? Why buy fresh apples at $1.69 a pound when you can a gallon of apple juice (store brand, on sale) for $2 or less, or BOGO fruit snacks? Just try reading the labels - if you are buying the budget brand (at King Soopers/Kroger it's "Great Value" and is even cheaper than the Kroger brand) because you can't afford not to, you are unfortunately paying for extra fillers and fewer real nutrients.

We are very fortunate to finally be in a place (financially) where we can afford to shop at the farmers' market all summer for our produce. Even when we can't make it there, we go to Sprouts and spend at least half of our grocery budget on produce every week. It's a work in progress, and it's a struggle sometimes to make sure we eat all of our veggies (or fruit) each day, but I try to keep in mind that it's better for me and my family if we can live healthy lives by eating healthy foods. I do supplement a tiny bit of produce from my container garden, but that's miniscule compared to the amount of food a family of 4 needs. (Oh to have a yard and a real garden!)

I don't really have a solid plan for how to fix this broken system. I could really spend hours writing more and more about these issues, but for now I must stop. In the meantime, I will do what I can - educate my children, feed my children and my family the best that we can (and it's true, kids will eat veggies if you serve them and ask for their input on how to cook them!), and, someday, try to help the community I am in to create a more affordable, sustainable, and healthful way to eat and live.


Edited to Add:
I was perusing my Bloglovin list and came across this article from Science 2.0: Taxes On Sugary Beverages To Reduce Obesity Won't Work
It seemed to go with my rant here (sort of).

Tuesday, July 30, 2013

Tooth Fairy

J lost his first tooth this weekend.




Awesome for him, bittersweet for me.

I think that playing Tooth Fairy has been the most disillusioning part of parenthood for me. I actually had to call my mother to ask her what I was supposed to do with J's tooth. C told me to throw it away, that keeping it would be creepy. My mom told me the same thing. So J's first baby tooth went in the trash. *sigh*

I remember when he first got that tooth. It was so sweet and exciting and adorable to see his gummy little mouth with the two tiny teeth just poking through.

Monday, July 22, 2013

Longing for Fall (a poem)

The heat lays on my skin
Like damp gauze
I long for Fall
Even though Fall
Will bring Kindergarten
For my firstborn

Truly, before the Fall arrives
The air will cool
The leaves will change
And the garden will ripen
The birds will fly South
Heedless of the Equinox

Tuesday, June 18, 2013

Mirena: My Whole Story

Yay, it's out! Thank the gods.

Now to tell my whole story. It is not a great or terribly positive one, but here it is.

July 31, 2012 - Mirena inserted during period. I took some ibuprofen before the appointment. Insertion was a little crampy but nothing at all compared to period cramps or labor. I weigh 140 pounds, the same as when I became pregnant with Dee.

July 31-Sept 8 - Spotting and light bleeding

Oct 14- Very light, very short "period" with only one day of very light bleeding and a day on either side of spotting. It is around this point in time that I noticed that my depression and anxiety seem to be worse than usual, in that I am more irritable, moody and my Zoloft doesn't seem to be as stabilizing as it has generally been. This continues for the remainder of the time I have the Mirena.

November - My acne becomes worse than it has ever been, even as a teenager. It is painful and awful, and I am embarrassed to be nearly 30 years old with this complexion. I publish this post.

Dec 29 - I am now up to 146 pounds, and have another very short and light period (one day of very light bleeding, a day or two of spotting on either side)

I continue to experience cramping, discomfort, "fullness" and other various symptoms.

April 14 - Visit the OB/GYN office to see why I am in pain. Ultrasound reveals that the Mirena is in perfect position, but it does appear that I am gearing up to ovulate (which can actually happen, just rarely, on Mirena). The nurse sympathizes with my acne and other symptoms but urges me to try and "wait it out." My weight is 149.

May 5-11 (approximately) - I feel melancholy, exhausted, irritable, and begin to feel like I'm experiencing terrible mood swings and PMS. This is weird because while my moods and depression have been worse since getting the Mirena, I have not experienced anything like this. I post this and I begin to feel like I haven't experienced anything like this since I was first pregnant with J (which can basically be summed up as feeling like I was going through the worst PMS imaginable, though of course it wasn't PMS). I have cramps (more than usual) and just chalk it up to the same old crap. I have dreams that I am pregnant and I assume that they are just my brain vomit (however I haven't had many of those in my life since having had kids, and they were predominantly when I was actually pregnant). My weight at this point is 147.8.

May 11 - I start the worst period ever, and also post this. The cramps come in waves (much like contractions...) and I am in so much pain for 3 days of heavy bleeding that I spend as much time as possible on the couch taking ibuprofen around the clock. I have no energy and am just miserable. I used to (before I had kids) have occasional period cramps that made me want to vomit, but these are entirely different.

When I had the Mirena removed on June 10, the midwife noted that it was lower than it should have been (therefore lower than it had been in April). I believe, now, that what happened was this: I was pregnant. No more than 4-5 weeks at the most. I had a miscarriage. I didn't see anything in the toilet because it was very early (and I wasn't really looking...). The contraction-like cramps that I had were, in fact, contractions, and they managed to shift the position of the Mirena in the process of everything else.

I've since had my first period since Mirena removal. It wasn't bad, pretty much a normal period. No remarkable cramps or anything. I have lost 1.5 pounds since getting the Mirena out. My skin is healing and clearing up nicely, though I have some uneven tone and things that are still present. I expect that will take time to disappear.

As far as the miscarriage? I don't know. I feel, in my heart, that is what happened. I never took a pregnancy test. I have no way of knowing now, and I don't even know if it "counts" since I didn't even connect the dots til a few weeks after it was all over. I don't know what I am supposed to feel. Upset? I didn't want to be pregnant...but I would never have said I'd rather lose a baby than to be pregnant again. It's not in the plans for C and I to have a third biological child, for a number of reasons. We want to adopt a child, maybe two. I still want to have 4 kids when all is said and done, but originally we'd planned to only have two biological children. Now...I don't know. I feel like I'm supposed to feel something that I don't, or maybe I do feel something but have no "right" to feel anything because I don't even know for certain I was pregnant.

I know that my experiences were not common. The acne side effect is somewhat rare (I think about 10% get it), but well documented. Pregnancy can happen, rarely (less than a tenth of 1% of the time) and when it does, it may be either ectopic or it may be uterine, but there is a high risk of miscarriage either way.

So there you have it. My story. I would not get the Mirena again.

Monday, June 3, 2013

One More Week!

I am getting the Mirena out in ONE WEEK. Huzzah!

No more cramps.
No more acne.
No more exhaustion (from that...).
No more horrendous PMS-and-periods-from-hell (once was quite enough, thanks).

Oy. It will be *so* nice to be back to normal!

Saturday, May 11, 2013

Well, that explains a lot.

You know how I said that the one perk of Mirena was the no periods? Yeah. Guess what showed up today? I guess a six month break is nice, but I don't recall PMS and the first couple days sucking this much. I have been a complete bitch (like to the point that I feel like I haven't taken my Zoloft when I haven't missed any days lately), exhausted, and in desperate need of chocolate. I am kind of afraid of how bad this will get...

*sigh*

Well, at least I'm not spiraling downward again.

Thursday, May 9, 2013

Doldrums

Have you seen the movie The Phantom Tollbooth? You know the part where they're stuck in the Doldrums, not motivated or able to do anything, like they're surrounded by molasses? Yeah. I'm kind of stuck like that. I'm not exactly depressed, but just sort of...stalled.

I can't run anymore for a while. I pulled my soleus muscle. This means no stairs, no walks, no runs until it's healed. Dammit. I am limited to yoga and strength training, which is fine but doesn't help satisfy my need to move, to rove, to think. It's stupid and annoying, and I brought it on myself. Basically, I thought that running barefoot/with minimal support would be a good idea when I got shin splints. Well, yes, it did help those...but then my pronated arches (especially my right foot), further "assisted" by the slope of the sidewalks in my neighborhood, put excessive strain on my soleus. The lower portion and the upper portion were unequally worked, and the upper was weakened while the lower was strengthened and then pulled. The result is stabbing agony after about a quarter of a mile, as well as agony when I kneel/sit on my calves (comfy, generally) or when I take the stairs. Or try to stretch/work my calves (going up on the balls of my feet and lowering back down, etc).

Everyone on my floor at work (except me) hates their job. Yeah. Happy place to be every day. I can't do anything about it, my boss is awesome and theirs...are not. But it's not exactly a pleasant environment, it's very negative. 

I'll get over it, but still. Blah. Back to work, I suppose.

Depression Sucks for Everyone.

If you don't regularly read Hyperbole and a Half (or hell, even if you do), you may not have registered that Allie has been on a 19 month hiatus.  She's gone through hell, and thankfully made it through to the other side (almost). What she has written is one of the best descriptions of the process of depression that I've ever come across. So go read it, and send her a virtual hug.

Saturday, April 27, 2013

Happy 2nd Birthday to My Sweet Girl

Dee turned 2 today. TWO. Although, if you ask her, she'll tell you she's three. I think that 3 may be her favorite number. She can count to 3, even, and knows how many things add up to 3. Smarty pants.









The stats:
Still tall and skinny!
Height: 34.75" (72ish percentile)
Weight: 22 pounds, 11 oz (20th 5th percentile!)

Monday, April 22, 2013

5-Year-Olds = Awesome

The other day I made hamburgers. C told me I made a "mean" burger. A few minutes later, J happily informed me that his burger was "quite aggressive and delicious."

I love that boy.