What a pain in the ass

I don't know what to do. I am supposed to work M, T, F approximately 9-5, and W and Th I come in later because C works those mornings and I stay with J, so I end up working about 11-7. Which *seemed* to be fine, but lately every week on either W or Th or both I have sputum to process or a bronch to collect samples from at like 8 or 9 in the morning. So I have to find a sitter for J, which is a pain in the ass, because none of our family is really very close by (at least, none that can babysit, my mom is close but works 50+ hours a week), they are all 40+ minutes away from our house. The closest is my older sister, but she is 40 minutes from our house and about 30 from my work, so my commute time about doubles. She's great, but I cannot drive that far more than once every few weeks, so it's insane to try to use her as our emergency sitter every frickin week. We could put J in daycare, but what's the point for 3 hours at a time? Also, if we had to take him to daycare a couple days a week, there goes everything C makes, so therefore defeats the purpose of him having a job.

I am just so fed up with this bullshit. I need a new fucking job but there's nothing closer to our house that I am qualified for, and we can't sell our house in this market and even if we could we wouldn't be able to afford anything else. This institution claims to pay within the average range for technicians, but that's a load of crap. We looked on the state's website, we get paid in the 10th percentile. Yep, they sure love their research bitches. I could earn 40% more at another place doing basically the same job if I was willing to have an hour long commute, but I'm just not willing to spend 2 hours a day-minimum- driving instead of 1 to 1 1/2...I also can't quit right now anyway because I am indispensible. I would have to train my replacement, which would probably take a couple months. In the meantime, our money is all going to pay our bills, we don't really have enough for all that plus gas and food.

Oh, and C didn't get that job we were hoping for after all. And Sarah Palin scares me, and she gives Alaskans, women, and hunters a bad name.

Yeah, I'm just having a fan-fucking-tastic day. Is it 5 yet?!