I am going to sit on the couch and work on my current knitting project this afternoon, while J is still asleep. Which will hopefully be until 4, since he is also sick and went down late. My current project is to make a blanket, hat, and booties for sister N's twin girls, ideally to be done by April since sister M is going to have a shower for her in April sometime. One set will be purple heathery, one set will be pink (although I haven't bought the pink yet, so i don't know what shade/texture exactly). I am currently working on making the purple blanket, modified from a pattern in a Debbie Bliss book. I've made the hooded blanket for J and for my nephew Ian, and a friend I TA'd with in grad school. I just realized I've only made it for boys...Hmm. Anyway, I am making it on 13 gauge needles and not putting on a hood for the ones for the twins, but they are great and stretchy because the blankets are done in seed stitch, so they are fantastic for swaddling. We use J's (which I actually only finished for his 1st Christmas...) after baths. He likes to play peek-a-boo with the hood. The hats and booties should go pretty fast. I may even experiment with knitting them in the round, which I haven't done before. My sister A gave me a neat gadget for making pompoms for Christmas, I will get to use it on this project!
I will try to update more on any knitting projects I do. Who knows, I may whip out a ton and a half of booties and sell them on Etsy. We'll just have to see!
Saturday, February 28, 2009
Is It Wrong?
C made me chicken and dumplings last night because I am a sickie. It tastes good, but I like how I make it much better. Is that bad? Fortunately (or not) C hates dealing with raw chicken, so I will always be the person in charge of making it unless I am as sick as I was last night.
I am also contemplating hiding J's current favorite toy, because he is making me nuts by playing it over and over and over, and sticking random things in that won't come back out unless Mommy tips it over. He loves it though...so maybe I won't hide it til later, when he's napping. J has this to say about it: A8u9lACIkjuciukjodcujh76 n bnn bm nnnnnnnjyhhtmttttt./,;'3.
I am also contemplating hiding J's current favorite toy, because he is making me nuts by playing it over and over and over, and sticking random things in that won't come back out unless Mommy tips it over. He loves it though...so maybe I won't hide it til later, when he's napping. J has this to say about it: A8u9lACIkjuciukjodcujh76 n bnn bm nnnnnnnjyhhtmttttt./,;'3.
Thursday, February 26, 2009
Putting on the Big Girl Panties
This is a phrase I first heard on the Nest-become-Bump and I love it. Some of my coworkers need to put on their big girl panties and deal with things, rather than bitching about them. Seriously. If you have a project going which requires a certain number of x, and most of x become dirty in the process and you have to wash more x in order to continue, then wash x. It isn't frickin rocket science. Don't throw a hissy fit and get everyone involved in your drama because *gasp* you ran out of x and had to wash more! I've run out of x and had to wash more, then use the air thingy in the lab to dry more, and I didn't bitch and moan about it. Seriously. Get your meds fixed, put the big girl panties on, and DEAL WITH IT.
Really, this phrase is highly amusing to use.
And, alas, I have another head cold. I am going to go to Walgreens and get a Neti Pot, since enough people have recommended them I figured I should quit my bitching and try it. The worst that could happen is I will make a mess and still feel like cotton is in my sinuses. Also, the library got a book I had on hold! (Breaking Dawn, if you're interested...::hangs head in shame::) I haven't read Eclipse yet, but I read the summary. Breaking Dawn's the one I wanted to read more anyway. Somehow the waiting list for Eclipse is over 100 people (I am #99 on that list) and the waiting list for Breaking Dawn was only like 30. Hmm. I am also still waiting for Contagious, but I am still #9 on that list. People must be damn slow readers of that book, I was #10 for like 3 weeks before this.
Really, this phrase is highly amusing to use.
And, alas, I have another head cold. I am going to go to Walgreens and get a Neti Pot, since enough people have recommended them I figured I should quit my bitching and try it. The worst that could happen is I will make a mess and still feel like cotton is in my sinuses. Also, the library got a book I had on hold! (Breaking Dawn, if you're interested...::hangs head in shame::) I haven't read Eclipse yet, but I read the summary. Breaking Dawn's the one I wanted to read more anyway. Somehow the waiting list for Eclipse is over 100 people (I am #99 on that list) and the waiting list for Breaking Dawn was only like 30. Hmm. I am also still waiting for Contagious, but I am still #9 on that list. People must be damn slow readers of that book, I was #10 for like 3 weeks before this.
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
Things Overheard In Public Places
At Red Lobster:
Woman, to her date, doing a crossword puzzle (romantic, eh?): Hmm...four letter word...Old MacDonald had a...(long pause here)...FARM!
(This was the first one she'd gotten right.)
Couple: We're out celebrating our 30th anniversary!
Waiter (who was maybe 23 years old, MAYBE, if you rounded up): Congratulations! My parents just celebrated their 50th.
(I guess he could've been a change of life baby, but that's not terribly likely...maybe his folks married in childhood? Or as teenagers?)
In Borders:
Teenage Girl: I wish there was like, a way to hear what people's tone of voice was in when they texted you.
In the toddler girl's section at Kohl's:
Woman, to her friend: Sometimes I wish I could shrink myself down so I could wear these clothes. They're just so cute!
Woman, to her date, doing a crossword puzzle (romantic, eh?): Hmm...four letter word...Old MacDonald had a...(long pause here)...FARM!
(This was the first one she'd gotten right.)
Couple: We're out celebrating our 30th anniversary!
Waiter (who was maybe 23 years old, MAYBE, if you rounded up): Congratulations! My parents just celebrated their 50th.
(I guess he could've been a change of life baby, but that's not terribly likely...maybe his folks married in childhood? Or as teenagers?)
In Borders:
Teenage Girl: I wish there was like, a way to hear what people's tone of voice was in when they texted you.
In the toddler girl's section at Kohl's:
Woman, to her friend: Sometimes I wish I could shrink myself down so I could wear these clothes. They're just so cute!
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
2 Followers, Two Baby Girls, and a Partridge in a Pear Tree
Aww, I feel so special! I have 2 followers now. :-) Thanks for finding my ramblings interesting!
Oh, and my sister N is having twin GIRLS (due in June)! I swear there is nothing cuter than twin girls. One baby girl is cute, and you can dress her in cute girlie frilly clothes, and with twins there are two of them that you can dress in semi-matchy girlie frilly clothes!I guess triplet girls would technically be cuter than twins, but hey, I am excited. I am going to knit them booties and blankets, maybe hats (if I am so inclined); one pink set and one purple set. Don't take this to mean that I don't think J is cute, but boy stuff just isn't as cute as girl stuff.
Alas, no partridges, but it sounded neat. J tried to say "bath" yesterday, he was playing by the bathtub, trying to turn on the faucet (which he can't reach really, and I moved him away) and he kept saying "Ba! Ba!" I guess he wanted to take a bath. He didn't get one though. Then this morning he tried to say juice, and he said bottle (we gave him his juice in a "toddler sport bottle" which is basically a bottle). Juice came out as "jjjjoooo" but I thought that was a pretty good attempt! Also, here is my favorite picture of J currently. I have one of me at about 3 years old making a slightly less squinchy version of this face, and we look soo similar!
Oh, and my sister N is having twin GIRLS (due in June)! I swear there is nothing cuter than twin girls. One baby girl is cute, and you can dress her in cute girlie frilly clothes, and with twins there are two of them that you can dress in semi-matchy girlie frilly clothes!I guess triplet girls would technically be cuter than twins, but hey, I am excited. I am going to knit them booties and blankets, maybe hats (if I am so inclined); one pink set and one purple set. Don't take this to mean that I don't think J is cute, but boy stuff just isn't as cute as girl stuff.
Alas, no partridges, but it sounded neat. J tried to say "bath" yesterday, he was playing by the bathtub, trying to turn on the faucet (which he can't reach really, and I moved him away) and he kept saying "Ba! Ba!" I guess he wanted to take a bath. He didn't get one though. Then this morning he tried to say juice, and he said bottle (we gave him his juice in a "toddler sport bottle" which is basically a bottle). Juice came out as "jjjjoooo" but I thought that was a pretty good attempt! Also, here is my favorite picture of J currently. I have one of me at about 3 years old making a slightly less squinchy version of this face, and we look soo similar!
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
Looking Up From Down
Things have been going much better since my last post. I called my MWs to ask what I can do about all the spotting, and they put me on Yaz (yes, on top of Implanon) to try and trick my body into some kind of cycles, rather than just almost constant spotting/bleeding. 3 days in, the spotting stopped. Whee! So far, so good. I've finished 1 week's worth so far, hopefully it continues to work.
J has still not been sleeping as well as he used to, but he only seems to be waking up when the Tylenol wears off (so, like, 4am...). One of the top canines has broken through, just a teensy bit, but it's progress. The other has made his gums all swollen and you can see it, but it isn't poking out yet. Hopefully it will finish it's journey soon and our happy little boy will be back to his always happy little self, instead of his mostly happy little self. He has certainly been practicing stringing "words" together. On Saturday, he was saying "Woah,woah,woooaaah" (which was hilarious, and adorable) all day, then Sunday it was "Wowwowwoooow" and today he saw a puppy (about the size of our hound) and he sad "Dawdawdaaaawwg!" He's also been slathering me with kisses. Slathering is really the closest description, when a kiss consists of an open mouth being repeatedly pressed into your cheek by a drooling, teething pseudo-toddler. J is also making a greater attempt at learning to walk. He can occasionally stand alone for about a second before plopping onto his little diapered butt, and he LOVES holding both my hands (or C's hands, whoever is "handy") and marching/running as fast as his semi-coordinated legs will carry him. I told him he walks like a monkey. Oh, and J experienced his first solid-food vomit! He got a piece of bean skin (if you've eaten chili with beans, you know what I mean) stuck on the back of his tongue, and he coughed a couple times, then puked up a little teeny bit of chili barf. Yeah, that's a dorky thing to get excited about, but it's an oft-overlooked milestone! Unfortunately, it seems that he is actually allergic to cow's milk, since he's had really...explosive...poops since we switched him to cow's milk. So, back to goat's milk it is. Hopefully that will solve the problem. He does still nurse twice a day, and he sometimes wants to nurse other times (like all day on Saturday). I'm trying to figure out an easy thing for him to call nursing, I was thinking "nan" but I'm not really sure how to go about it. For now I will just ask him if he wants to nurse, and he'll lean down and attemt to free my breast or just nurse through my shirt if he wants to, or he'll look around the room or try to get down if he doesn't want to.
Also, C had an interview today with a company called Mad Science, that goes around to local schools and does after-school science programs, as well as summer camps. As far as he could tell it went well, and we'll know in the next couple days if he's got a second interview. We are REALLY hoping he gets this, as the hours would be in the afternoon so we could coordinate schedules and hopefully not have to send J to daycare (though we do qualify for state assistance for full-time daycare).
Ah, yes, in all, things are looking up.
J has still not been sleeping as well as he used to, but he only seems to be waking up when the Tylenol wears off (so, like, 4am...). One of the top canines has broken through, just a teensy bit, but it's progress. The other has made his gums all swollen and you can see it, but it isn't poking out yet. Hopefully it will finish it's journey soon and our happy little boy will be back to his always happy little self, instead of his mostly happy little self. He has certainly been practicing stringing "words" together. On Saturday, he was saying "Woah,woah,woooaaah" (which was hilarious, and adorable) all day, then Sunday it was "Wowwowwoooow" and today he saw a puppy (about the size of our hound) and he sad "Dawdawdaaaawwg!" He's also been slathering me with kisses. Slathering is really the closest description, when a kiss consists of an open mouth being repeatedly pressed into your cheek by a drooling, teething pseudo-toddler. J is also making a greater attempt at learning to walk. He can occasionally stand alone for about a second before plopping onto his little diapered butt, and he LOVES holding both my hands (or C's hands, whoever is "handy") and marching/running as fast as his semi-coordinated legs will carry him. I told him he walks like a monkey. Oh, and J experienced his first solid-food vomit! He got a piece of bean skin (if you've eaten chili with beans, you know what I mean) stuck on the back of his tongue, and he coughed a couple times, then puked up a little teeny bit of chili barf. Yeah, that's a dorky thing to get excited about, but it's an oft-overlooked milestone! Unfortunately, it seems that he is actually allergic to cow's milk, since he's had really...explosive...poops since we switched him to cow's milk. So, back to goat's milk it is. Hopefully that will solve the problem. He does still nurse twice a day, and he sometimes wants to nurse other times (like all day on Saturday). I'm trying to figure out an easy thing for him to call nursing, I was thinking "nan" but I'm not really sure how to go about it. For now I will just ask him if he wants to nurse, and he'll lean down and attemt to free my breast or just nurse through my shirt if he wants to, or he'll look around the room or try to get down if he doesn't want to.
Also, C had an interview today with a company called Mad Science, that goes around to local schools and does after-school science programs, as well as summer camps. As far as he could tell it went well, and we'll know in the next couple days if he's got a second interview. We are REALLY hoping he gets this, as the hours would be in the afternoon so we could coordinate schedules and hopefully not have to send J to daycare (though we do qualify for state assistance for full-time daycare).
Ah, yes, in all, things are looking up.
Saturday, February 7, 2009
Date Night Under $20
Going on a date can be a difficult thing to organize, and when you are on a budget it becomes even more difficult. Here are some ways to get out of the house for a few hours for some "couple" time. This is geared a little more toward couples with kids, but the latter part will apply to everyone, and actually would be great for "girl's night out" events, too.
If you have kids, you will need a babysitter. If you have family in the area, that really helps make date night cheaper, because they will generally sit for free. If not, well, don't give up just yet. If you have friends that also have small kids, see if you can trade babysitting nights with them- they watch your kids, then you watch theirs to give them a night off. Otherwise, plan to spend about $10-$12 per hour for a sitter. You may be able to barter goods instead of money (for example, if you make fantastic pies or bread or some other consumable, or are very crafty, you could exchange a pie and some loaves of bread, or a handmade purse for babysitting for the evening). The cost of a babysitter is not being figured into the date for under $20, by the way.
Onto the date! Here are some ideas:
Movie Night: If you don't mind seeing movies a few weeks/m0nths after they first come out, check to see if you have a discount theater in your area. One within walking distance is ideal, especially in the summer, because then you aren't even paying for gas. For example, the discount theater in my area has movies for $3 per ticket or less (depending on the time of day), and the refreshments are even reasonably priced.
Coffee: Why not go out with your significant other and just spend some time talking, hanging out, and getting to know each other again? Starbucks is one option, but check around and see if there are any locally-owned coffee houses in your neighborhood. Some have live music, so sip your lattes and groove along! When my husband and I did this, we ate dinner first, then went out for coffee and dessert. Overall we spent under $15 for our date at a local cafe, complete with music by a local singer. A variation of this would be to go get ice cream and walk around somewhere while you talk.
Bowling: Yes, bowling! Bowling alleys are a fantastic, fun place to go for a date. There are always specials going on at the Brunswick Zone (a local bowling alley chain in CO), including games for $1. At that price, you could even afford some snacks!
Picnic dinner: Obviously, this would be best in the summer or in nice weather, but it is pretty easy, and inexpensive, to throw some sandwiches, fruit, salads, sodas and/or beers, etc together and go to a park. State parks require admission, but even if you end up spending $6 to drive your car in, that's still a pretty inexpensive date. Some parks don't allow alcohol, so you may want to check the policies of your destination before you head out.
Enjoy!
If you have kids, you will need a babysitter. If you have family in the area, that really helps make date night cheaper, because they will generally sit for free. If not, well, don't give up just yet. If you have friends that also have small kids, see if you can trade babysitting nights with them- they watch your kids, then you watch theirs to give them a night off. Otherwise, plan to spend about $10-$12 per hour for a sitter. You may be able to barter goods instead of money (for example, if you make fantastic pies or bread or some other consumable, or are very crafty, you could exchange a pie and some loaves of bread, or a handmade purse for babysitting for the evening). The cost of a babysitter is not being figured into the date for under $20, by the way.
Onto the date! Here are some ideas:
Movie Night: If you don't mind seeing movies a few weeks/m0nths after they first come out, check to see if you have a discount theater in your area. One within walking distance is ideal, especially in the summer, because then you aren't even paying for gas. For example, the discount theater in my area has movies for $3 per ticket or less (depending on the time of day), and the refreshments are even reasonably priced.
Coffee: Why not go out with your significant other and just spend some time talking, hanging out, and getting to know each other again? Starbucks is one option, but check around and see if there are any locally-owned coffee houses in your neighborhood. Some have live music, so sip your lattes and groove along! When my husband and I did this, we ate dinner first, then went out for coffee and dessert. Overall we spent under $15 for our date at a local cafe, complete with music by a local singer. A variation of this would be to go get ice cream and walk around somewhere while you talk.
Bowling: Yes, bowling! Bowling alleys are a fantastic, fun place to go for a date. There are always specials going on at the Brunswick Zone (a local bowling alley chain in CO), including games for $1. At that price, you could even afford some snacks!
Picnic dinner: Obviously, this would be best in the summer or in nice weather, but it is pretty easy, and inexpensive, to throw some sandwiches, fruit, salads, sodas and/or beers, etc together and go to a park. State parks require admission, but even if you end up spending $6 to drive your car in, that's still a pretty inexpensive date. Some parks don't allow alcohol, so you may want to check the policies of your destination before you head out.
Enjoy!
Wednesday, February 4, 2009
Last night
If last night wasn't rough enough as it was, J kept me up most of the night. C went to bed at like 9, so it was nice to have some time alone, especially with the fabulous mood he'd been in. I put J to bed at 8, he was awake and crying by 10. I let him cry a little to see if he'd just go back to sleep like he sometimes does, but after about 5 minutes I went in and nursed him, tried to soothe him, and put him back in his crib. More crying. About 30 seconds after I closed his door, C went in and got him, and accuses me of not being able to hear him and just leaving him to cry. Um, what? I explained that I had literally just put him back down after nursing him and trying to soothe him, and C says he didn't hear me, and hands J back to me, and goes back to bed. Nice. Not that he could sleep anyway. So I carried J around with me while I got diapers set up to dry (we use cloth diapers) and while I made my spaghetti for lunch for today. I didn't manage to ruin the pan, by the way. Finally around 10:45 I nurse J again, try to get him to go back to sleep, and end up curled up with him in his crib. Yes I fit, but it was kinda hard to get in and out because my legs are short. Anyway, I finally got him to go to sleep and I got into my own bed at about 11:30. Alarm set for 5:20, and go to sleep.
At 2, J woke up again. Crying, again. I gave him some Tylenol, nursed him, cuddled him, and every time I set him down he started with the screaming again. I sang "Hush Little Baby" 3 times while nursing him, and 2 1/2 times while laying down with him in the crib (again) while rubbing his back. I think the Tylenol finally kicked in and he fell asleep, still whimpering. He occasionally popped his head up and looked at me, but when I did finally get up and go to bed at 3, he didn't make a peep. This morning we had to get up at 5:20 to drop C off at work by 6. MIL was due to arrive by 8, so I had a little time to get breakfast, showered, and diapers folded. J was cranky as hell, again, and chewing on his fingers in the only two spots he can without biting them with his teeth. I think his canines are bugging him with their attempts at erupting. Ugh. At least I can get some cheap coffee here at work. I think it's about time to go get that now, or I may fall asleep counting cells.
At 2, J woke up again. Crying, again. I gave him some Tylenol, nursed him, cuddled him, and every time I set him down he started with the screaming again. I sang "Hush Little Baby" 3 times while nursing him, and 2 1/2 times while laying down with him in the crib (again) while rubbing his back. I think the Tylenol finally kicked in and he fell asleep, still whimpering. He occasionally popped his head up and looked at me, but when I did finally get up and go to bed at 3, he didn't make a peep. This morning we had to get up at 5:20 to drop C off at work by 6. MIL was due to arrive by 8, so I had a little time to get breakfast, showered, and diapers folded. J was cranky as hell, again, and chewing on his fingers in the only two spots he can without biting them with his teeth. I think his canines are bugging him with their attempts at erupting. Ugh. At least I can get some cheap coffee here at work. I think it's about time to go get that now, or I may fall asleep counting cells.
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
W.T.F.
I don't even know where to begin. Obviously, things have been stressful lately. Ok, stressful is an understatement. This is going to be long, rambley, and probably at least a little incoherent.
Ok...so the car. Brakes needed new rotors, fine, there goes $500. We had to get a credit card through the mechanic to pay for it, but it's 90 days same as cash, and we get roadside assistance for a year, and it's got a $1000 limit. Next thing: the timing belt. Okay. To replace the timing belt and the water pump, the quote was about $800 after tax. This includes 6 hours of labor. Well, come Saturday when we took the car in, they couldn't actually do the work in just 6 hours, since it's a 9 hour project. They said they'd honor the original quote, which at $85 an hour for labor, I won't sneeze at. Fuck I'd like to make $85 an hour. Maybe I should be a frigging mechanic. Fuck the Master's degree. Anyway, so we took the car back in on Monday by 8:00 to get it done by 5, which means that we left our house at 6:45am to get me to work by 7:20 to get DH back to the mechanic by 8. DH and DS meanwhile walked home from the mechanic. DS slept the whole way, and spent the whole day sick and developed a fever. More on that later. I got a call Monday afternoon (wow, I guess that was yesterday...) that our water pump actually had a hole in it, and was leaking on the idler, and as a result both the idler and the tensioner needed to be replaced. Add almost $200 to the price tag for this trip to the car doctor, and voila, suddenly we have to max out every credit card we have, and take $300 out of checking that we needed to pay our mortgage (more on that later), and there we go.
I am also still bleeding/spotting. This makes 22 days out of the last 32 days that I have been bleeding/spotting. Woo. So I called the midwives last night to see if they thought that this was standard for me on Implanon now that J is not nursing as much, or if this was just an adjustment, or what. So the MW (one of my 2 favorites, though I like all 3) says she's sorry this is happening, I make a joke about the purpose of birth control being to prevent you from wanting to have sex, she gives me a free pack of Yaz to try to get my body to adopt some kind of cycles. Hopefully that will work. Who knew you could be on 2 kinds of hormonal BC at the same time? Huh. Anyway, this hopefully will prevent me needing to go get the Implanon removed, which would be a $45 copay that we don't have. That reminds me, I was supposed to make an appointment with my psychiatrist for this month. Well, that's another $45 I don't have. Maybe I will call and see if I can just come in next month. Holy hell I want to...something. Well, not really. I just...I don't know.
J is sick. The poor kid is much better today, a bit clingy, but better than yesterday and Sunday when he had a fever. It breaks my heart to have a sick baby.
C is still looking for another job. He's been applying for at least 1 job a day for months now. So far he's had one interview that didn't go anywhere. The last couple weeks he's been applying to a minimum of5 jobs a day, everything he can find online. He can't go to the actual locations because we have only 1 car, which I take to work, and he has J. So he's stressed out. He's making less than 1/10th of what the car repairs cost per week. We keep hoping his music will take off, but lord knows we've been hoping for that for a long fucking time. And in this economy, nobody is going to hire a jazz group to do anything when they can't even afford to keep all their employees, and nobody is dining out because they can't afford to spend extra money in case they lose their job(s). I have a coworker who, along with his roommates, likes to play poker online as a source of income. Legality aside, it really pisses me off that some jackass that does NOT have the same level of education that I do sits on his butt all day in front of the fucking computer and plays poker, and brings in more than I make in a month from a single week's worth of his "work." I get it. Life isn't fair. I should quit bitching because I have a job, we can't lose our house (basically, we bought it from my grandma, she owned it outright, so she is the "bank" and she's very flexible on payments if we need it. Which we obviously do).
I have a sample that I have to process in the morning. C is working from 6-10, my thing is at 9:15. I have to leave home by 8 to guarantee getting there early enough to set up. I have had this on the calendar for a few days now. C found out on Sunday that he was working those hours tomorrow, and was all excited because it's an actual 4 hour shift instead of the 2 hours they've been giving him during the week. Usually, when he works til 10 I just stay home with J and go in to work late. Obviously that won't work tomorrow. So I called my sister M to see if she could watch him, since she usually can when we have an emergency like this. I didn't hear back from her until 7:30 tonight. She can't watch J tomorrow. My mom can't, my stepdad can't, and we don't have any other family close enough to make it convenient. We don't have a daycare, and we don't have a sitter. So I was totally kicking myself for not reminding C of this problem earlier, and I didn't call anyone til tonight because J was so sick yesterday I didn't know if I would even be ABLE to go in to work since I get paid sick leave and C doesn't so it would make more sense for me to take a sick day and him to go in to work, even though I couldn't really take the day off anyway since I don't have a fucking backup person for me at work, so pretty much short of me being hospitalized I don't get to take a sick day if we have a study patient coming in. Ugh. So I should have starting calling around yesterday. Shoot me. C couldn't go in tomorrow, or call tonight and say that our sitter cancelled and he has to leave 1 hour early. No, god forbid he give up one fucking $8.35 at his shitty job. BRU CAN FUCKING GO TO HELL. They cut hours, and they cut hours, and then they randomly pick one fucking day a week to go back to the old early morning hours of 6-10 instead of 8-10, and don't give any real notice on it, and we're so fucking poor that we have to take every fucking penny they give us. Even if that means that C is working a whole 10 hours a week, it's better than 6 hours. We can't even afford to pay a babysitter anything decent (apparently they make like $12 an hour now) because they'll be making more the C makes, so what's the fucking point of him working if he comes home poorer than before he went to work?
Anyway...back to the whole who to watch J thing. My sister couldn't watch him, my mom and stepdad couldn't watch him, so finally I called my mother-in-law. Bless her heart, she was willing to come up, which includes 90 minutes of driving each way. I got off the phone with her, feeling awful that I had to impose on her that way, and on the verge of tears, and C says "I hope you feel bad." Nice. You asshole. WTF.
I just don't know what to do anymore. We have no money. We are trying to sell our entertainment center. We only have our cell phones, no landline. We have the slowest high speed internet there is, because it's cheaper than buying a landline to have dialup. I don't know if anyone even sells dial-up anymore. And I just smelled something burning...C had put some water on for me to make spaghetti for lunch tomorrow, and I totally forgot. So there's been a pot boiling away all it's water for about 30 minutes. Fanfuckingtastic. Fuck. In case I haven't used enough profanity, fuckity fuck fuck fuck. Haha. Maybe I ruined the pan, that would be just so fucking awesome I just want to jump up and down with glee. FUCK. I wish I could cry. I haven't had a good cry in so long. I just can't cry...what the hell is wrong with me.
Somebody help me. If there's a god, or whatever, help me. Give me strength and patience and for fuck's sake, give C another, better, job.
Ok...so the car. Brakes needed new rotors, fine, there goes $500. We had to get a credit card through the mechanic to pay for it, but it's 90 days same as cash, and we get roadside assistance for a year, and it's got a $1000 limit. Next thing: the timing belt. Okay. To replace the timing belt and the water pump, the quote was about $800 after tax. This includes 6 hours of labor. Well, come Saturday when we took the car in, they couldn't actually do the work in just 6 hours, since it's a 9 hour project. They said they'd honor the original quote, which at $85 an hour for labor, I won't sneeze at. Fuck I'd like to make $85 an hour. Maybe I should be a frigging mechanic. Fuck the Master's degree. Anyway, so we took the car back in on Monday by 8:00 to get it done by 5, which means that we left our house at 6:45am to get me to work by 7:20 to get DH back to the mechanic by 8. DH and DS meanwhile walked home from the mechanic. DS slept the whole way, and spent the whole day sick and developed a fever. More on that later. I got a call Monday afternoon (wow, I guess that was yesterday...) that our water pump actually had a hole in it, and was leaking on the idler, and as a result both the idler and the tensioner needed to be replaced. Add almost $200 to the price tag for this trip to the car doctor, and voila, suddenly we have to max out every credit card we have, and take $300 out of checking that we needed to pay our mortgage (more on that later), and there we go.
I am also still bleeding/spotting. This makes 22 days out of the last 32 days that I have been bleeding/spotting. Woo. So I called the midwives last night to see if they thought that this was standard for me on Implanon now that J is not nursing as much, or if this was just an adjustment, or what. So the MW (one of my 2 favorites, though I like all 3) says she's sorry this is happening, I make a joke about the purpose of birth control being to prevent you from wanting to have sex, she gives me a free pack of Yaz to try to get my body to adopt some kind of cycles. Hopefully that will work. Who knew you could be on 2 kinds of hormonal BC at the same time? Huh. Anyway, this hopefully will prevent me needing to go get the Implanon removed, which would be a $45 copay that we don't have. That reminds me, I was supposed to make an appointment with my psychiatrist for this month. Well, that's another $45 I don't have. Maybe I will call and see if I can just come in next month. Holy hell I want to...something. Well, not really. I just...I don't know.
J is sick. The poor kid is much better today, a bit clingy, but better than yesterday and Sunday when he had a fever. It breaks my heart to have a sick baby.
C is still looking for another job. He's been applying for at least 1 job a day for months now. So far he's had one interview that didn't go anywhere. The last couple weeks he's been applying to a minimum of5 jobs a day, everything he can find online. He can't go to the actual locations because we have only 1 car, which I take to work, and he has J. So he's stressed out. He's making less than 1/10th of what the car repairs cost per week. We keep hoping his music will take off, but lord knows we've been hoping for that for a long fucking time. And in this economy, nobody is going to hire a jazz group to do anything when they can't even afford to keep all their employees, and nobody is dining out because they can't afford to spend extra money in case they lose their job(s). I have a coworker who, along with his roommates, likes to play poker online as a source of income. Legality aside, it really pisses me off that some jackass that does NOT have the same level of education that I do sits on his butt all day in front of the fucking computer and plays poker, and brings in more than I make in a month from a single week's worth of his "work." I get it. Life isn't fair. I should quit bitching because I have a job, we can't lose our house (basically, we bought it from my grandma, she owned it outright, so she is the "bank" and she's very flexible on payments if we need it. Which we obviously do).
I have a sample that I have to process in the morning. C is working from 6-10, my thing is at 9:15. I have to leave home by 8 to guarantee getting there early enough to set up. I have had this on the calendar for a few days now. C found out on Sunday that he was working those hours tomorrow, and was all excited because it's an actual 4 hour shift instead of the 2 hours they've been giving him during the week. Usually, when he works til 10 I just stay home with J and go in to work late. Obviously that won't work tomorrow. So I called my sister M to see if she could watch him, since she usually can when we have an emergency like this. I didn't hear back from her until 7:30 tonight. She can't watch J tomorrow. My mom can't, my stepdad can't, and we don't have any other family close enough to make it convenient. We don't have a daycare, and we don't have a sitter. So I was totally kicking myself for not reminding C of this problem earlier, and I didn't call anyone til tonight because J was so sick yesterday I didn't know if I would even be ABLE to go in to work since I get paid sick leave and C doesn't so it would make more sense for me to take a sick day and him to go in to work, even though I couldn't really take the day off anyway since I don't have a fucking backup person for me at work, so pretty much short of me being hospitalized I don't get to take a sick day if we have a study patient coming in. Ugh. So I should have starting calling around yesterday. Shoot me. C couldn't go in tomorrow, or call tonight and say that our sitter cancelled and he has to leave 1 hour early. No, god forbid he give up one fucking $8.35 at his shitty job. BRU CAN FUCKING GO TO HELL. They cut hours, and they cut hours, and then they randomly pick one fucking day a week to go back to the old early morning hours of 6-10 instead of 8-10, and don't give any real notice on it, and we're so fucking poor that we have to take every fucking penny they give us. Even if that means that C is working a whole 10 hours a week, it's better than 6 hours. We can't even afford to pay a babysitter anything decent (apparently they make like $12 an hour now) because they'll be making more the C makes, so what's the fucking point of him working if he comes home poorer than before he went to work?
Anyway...back to the whole who to watch J thing. My sister couldn't watch him, my mom and stepdad couldn't watch him, so finally I called my mother-in-law. Bless her heart, she was willing to come up, which includes 90 minutes of driving each way. I got off the phone with her, feeling awful that I had to impose on her that way, and on the verge of tears, and C says "I hope you feel bad." Nice. You asshole. WTF.
I just don't know what to do anymore. We have no money. We are trying to sell our entertainment center. We only have our cell phones, no landline. We have the slowest high speed internet there is, because it's cheaper than buying a landline to have dialup. I don't know if anyone even sells dial-up anymore. And I just smelled something burning...C had put some water on for me to make spaghetti for lunch tomorrow, and I totally forgot. So there's been a pot boiling away all it's water for about 30 minutes. Fanfuckingtastic. Fuck. In case I haven't used enough profanity, fuckity fuck fuck fuck. Haha. Maybe I ruined the pan, that would be just so fucking awesome I just want to jump up and down with glee. FUCK. I wish I could cry. I haven't had a good cry in so long. I just can't cry...what the hell is wrong with me.
Somebody help me. If there's a god, or whatever, help me. Give me strength and patience and for fuck's sake, give C another, better, job.
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