At Red Lobster:
Woman, to her date, doing a crossword puzzle (romantic, eh?): Hmm...four letter word...Old MacDonald had a...(long pause here)...FARM!
(This was the first one she'd gotten right.)
Couple: We're out celebrating our 30th anniversary!
Waiter (who was maybe 23 years old, MAYBE, if you rounded up): Congratulations! My parents just celebrated their 50th.
(I guess he could've been a change of life baby, but that's not terribly likely...maybe his folks married in childhood? Or as teenagers?)
Teenage Girl: I wish there was like, a way to hear what people's tone of voice was in when they texted you.
In the toddler girl's section at Kohl's:
Woman, to her friend: Sometimes I wish I could shrink myself down so I could wear these clothes. They're just so cute!