I realize that I have never really talked much about our parenting style with J. I mean, obviously it's come up but I've never really gone in-depth with it. I have finally started from the beginning in reading the blog of Mrs. Amy in-depth. In some areas, I agree with her so completely I feel that we must be kindred spirits (on an aside, can you tell I just read Anne of Green Gables?). In others, I feel that we could not be more different. I desperately wish I could be living a life like hers- a homemaker, staying at home to raise my child(ren) as naturally and wholesomely as I can. I do not share her views on faith, but I do share her views on misandry (mainly, that it's bad). In reading some of Mrs. Amy's earlier posts, I came across one in particular that made me realize that perhaps I've been harsh in expressing my views, and that those views may not actually have been heartfelt on my part. Having read Anne of Green Gables recently has also contributed to the rekindling- perhaps the further inflammation of- my desire to live simply.
I digress. J is breastfed still, at almost 15 months old, and will continue to be breastfed until he turns 2 or he self-weans, whichever is sooner. My reason for this is that when he turns 2 we plan to increase the size of our family, and I would prefer to be done nursing J during that time. His current nursing schedule, for anyone out there who'd like to know, is that he nurses when he wakes up in the morning, usually around 7 or 8 am. He gets a (~8 ounce) bottle of 1/2 whole goat milk plus 1/2 enriched rice milk at about 10:30, and another bottle of the same at about 3:30 after his afternoon nap. He nurses again as part of the bedtime routine at about 7:30, while I read him a story in the rocking chair in his room. The decision to breastfeed was never really a decision for me, it was just what I was going to do, and I was going to make it work no matter what.
No matter what turned out to be pumping as many as 5 times a day plus nursing when I was home, getting and battling mastitis which turned out to be a nipple infection, recurrent clogged ducts, and becoming desensitized to the pump by the end of 12 months of pumping. It was hard, and it was very painful at times, but I would not have given it up for anything. J has never had formula. Obviously this is not the case for everyone, and in the end, as long as your child is healthy, it really doesn't matter whether they get breastmilk from mom, donor milk, or formula.
J' meals are generally what we eat; he loves a scrambled egg with cheese for breakfast and he loves meat, cheese and animal crackers. He loves oatmeal with a tiny bit of either molasses or brown sugar, and he also enjoys unsweetened applesauce and other fruit as well as most veggies. He does extremely well with fingerfoods and table foods, and we've introduced them according to both his gross motor skill development and the number and type of teeth he's got. He currently has 14 teeth: all 8 incisors, all 4 molars and the top 2 canines. He's had all but the canines since before 12 months of age, so he's been pretty much on table food since those came in. Obviously I cut things up smaller for him and don't give him raw foods. He has a sensitivity to tomatoes so when we have spaghetti or anything else with tomato sauce, J gets a non-sauce version or something else entirely for his meal. In addition to this, J has a sensitivity (I hesitate to call it an allergy, as it doesn't do any more than upset his bowels and result in loose stools) to cow's milk in large quantities. This is why he drinks only goat milk, rice milk, and breast milk. He has no apparent issues with cow cheeses, yogurt, or things with cooked milk in them.
We have chosen to use cloth diapers (CDs) on J. We have used disposables sparingly, for instance we used them until the meconium was passed when he was a newborn, when we travel, and as backups when the CDs are being washed. We had a failed experience with g-diapers while traveling, and according to the other people I have spoken to, they either fit your child and you love them, or they don't and you hate them. For us they were in the second category. Also, they are not so very flushable as they'd lead you to believe, as my dad and his plumber can attest to (and yes, we followed the instructions given to the T). Anyway, back to my topic. We chose to use cloth diapers initially as a way to save money. This has worked very well for us, especially since my mother very kindly gifted us all the kissaluv's size 0 diapers we used when J was a newborn and 9 of the BumGenius 3.0 (a.k.a. BG 3.0) one-size diapers we are currently using, and will continue to use until J is potty trained. Had she not done that, we were looking at an initial investment of about $600 for diapers for the entire time J was using them, and certainly further use for child #2 (and subsequent). My original calculations of the cost of sposies put us at a $1000 savings in the first year alone in cloth diapering vs. using disposables.
Most of J's clothes are "borrowed" hand-me-downs. His cousin Ian is 14 months older than him, so all of Ian's old clothes get passed down to J, then we give them back for baby #2, assuming that Ian's little sibling turns out to be a boy. J also has gotten a number of clothes from grandmas, and aunts. I have almost never paid full price for anything for him, except maybe for his Roobeez knockoffs from Target or BabiesRUs. Most of the clothes I have gotten him came from the clearance racks and the consignment store. Toys have been handed down from other cousins, or given as gifts, or sometimes bought by Mommy and Daddy.
Our parenting style has been largely guided by instinct. I have taken some advice from Parenting and Parents magazines, and some from other moms on a message board I frequent, as well as some of the inevitable advice from my mom, stepmom, and MIL, (as well as some other family members) but for the most part it just sort of happens. J is alive, very happy, and healthy, so I guess we're doing something right. I never had the heart to cry-it-out, so we don't let J just cry for more than a couple minutes. Early on in the "sleep training" process, 2-3 minutes was all he needed and then he'd be out for the night. We don't panic if he gets licked by the dog, or licks them, we turn him away from things that will hurt him with a stern "no" and we let him explore his world. His environment isn't the most spotlessly clean place ever, but it's not a filth pit by any stretch of the imagination. We may not bathe him every night, but he isn't unclean. He doesn't get to watch TV designed for kids/babies very much, and didn't get any of that in his first year. Now, he gets to watch cartoons or "his" show for about 30 minutes once every couple weeks. It's a great way to make him sit still so I can cut his nails. We do have the TV on when he's around, but really only in the evenings, and he doesn't pay much attention to it. We play with him, we hug him and tell him that he's loved. I tuck him into bed each night with a stuffed animal, the quilt that Grandma K made him, and his sippy cup of water. His white noise machine plays ocean sounds, his space heater comes on when it gets below 60-65 in his room. He goes to sleep with little or, more often, no fuss and sleeps until morning.
We just keep taking things as they come. I don't think anyone can do better than their best, and we're giving this whole parenting thing our best shot.
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